I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
For those of you who live in a hole in the ground or are completely oblivious to current events. The terrorists like Al-Qaeda chose to use the terminology of a "jihad" as a crusifix to describe what their goals are. They're doing what they do for Allah. They're not exactly justified and certainly this is a bit off base with where I'm going with this. They, for one reason or another, feel wronged by the west. They chose to take their claim out on us. Newer groups like this “Indian Mujahideen” who were responsible for the recent attacks in Mumbai, India. Groups like these use "jihad" as a term of fear, a word that identifies their cause. Through force they will bring change.
I feel that terrorism has crept upon us in a different front from an enemy who who instead choses to wear fancy suits and dictate what our general populace will have force fed to them on the worlds radio stations. These suits run the music industry and they create terrorism on a daily basis. Through helping prolong and proliferate the fame of such individuals who undoubtebly SUCK.
Individuals or Bands like: Rihanna, Beyonce, Britney Spears, Nickelback, The Killers, Miley Cyrus, Kid Rock, Metallica, Katy Perry , Hinder, The Jonas Brothers, Linkin Park, T.I, or Ludacris or not to mention the scores of R&B and Rap clones that suck harder and harder with each one that emerges.
It is the pollution of such shit on our radios that has driven down the STANDARD of music. No longer are we blown away by the imagination of bands like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd or The Doors. No, now we have to accept that stuff like Pink, Akon, Three Days Grace, Dave Matthews Band, Seether, Buck Cherry or Creed. And people eat it up, I'm certain that there is an undesirable herd of brainless drones that not only listen to this shit, but they fucking love it!
Then there is the "emo" genre which deserved to be kicked into a Spartain death pit, never to be heard from again. I'm talking to you: Simple Plan, My Chemical Romance. The Used, Papa Roach, Dashboard Confessional, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and hoardes of shitty copycat bands that should all be burned at the stake!
There is a serious need of a musical revolution. People use the internet more than ever to discover new music. Why hasn't the music industry done ANYTHING to try and boost its sails. People don't want to pay for the shitty music you're peddling as gold and yet you show no sign of effort to turn your situation around. There is no musical talent in all of these bands you push on us. Where are the bands with the vocallists who make us wish we could sing? The drummers who smash the shit out of the shit? The guitarists who can play so good that you'd practically cry at the thought of it. Where's the quality, the emotion, where's the substance.
That song "Love Song" by Sarah Bareilles that's on the radio. Its a shitty song but I kind of like that she wrote it after the record companies told her that her album needed a love song. She wrote that up one morning and the next thing you know its a fucking radio staple.
I know I'm breaking some genre barriers here and I'm trying to keep focused on Rock. There aren't many guitarists out there like Alex Lifeson (Rush) or Dave Mustaine of Megadeth, or Tom Morello, guitarists who just kick ass. There's so few! So here's some bands that do, infact, kick ass like it was meant to be. Nobody that plays anymore reminds me of Hendrix or Jimmy Page. I'd have to say that Zakk Wylde of the Black Label Society, he's a bit more metal stylings but he's got a musical heart that can't be ignored. It plays out in his music and he's an awesome guitarist.
I ask you, please, no, I fucking beg you! STOP LISTENING TO THE SHIT! Boycot the radio, listen with your heart. Don't accept this bullshit that they keep pushing our way. The way I see it, unless something comes along. The music is going to continue to get blander and shittier, and the record companies may continue to lose money, they may not. Until next time, just think about the fucking lame ass Britney Spears song you might be listening to at the moment and I hope it fills your brain with bile!
Fuck you Fall Out Boy!
- Bryce.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Indiana Jones and The Train To Shitsville
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
I finally watched Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull and I don't know what to think. It's hit me like a ton of bricks. I've never been especially fond of Indiana Jones. I know people who think he's the greatest but I've always been a Batman/Star Wars kind of guy. I didn't watch Indiana Jones and The Raiders of The Lost Ark until my 18th birthday. I hadn't seen the other two movies until about a month ago.
The original trilogy is much like the original Star Wars trilogy in that its spirit and imagination are unprecedented. They're great films and I like all of them. I was kind of stoked to watch Indiana Jones 4 and then the word of mouth came my way. Negative response after another, I found any shred of hope I may have had for the film dwindling. Was there any hope this was going to be good.
It started out well, I had hope it would carry out some glimmer of promise. The prequel trilogy of Star Wars wasn't the best but it was watchable. This Indiana Jones was not the Indy I knew... This Indy was old, past his prime. He met a young greaser by the name of "Mutt Williams" played by Shia LeBouf of Transformers fame. Mutt wanted Indiana Jones to help him save his mother because nobody else would. Their trail lead Indiana Jones to learn that what he once assumed a myth of the tallest tale was something very real.
I can't disregard the imagination they tried to achieve for this movie. Its certainly no fault to Cate Blanchet who did her best but I liked her better as Crazy Bob Dylan. Was it the throwing the gunpowder into the air to find the highly magnetic box? Was it Shia, swinging through vines with chimpanzee. Or all the "mom" "dad" "family" jokes that even Superman Returns had the courtesy to avoid.
This movie was shameful. I hope they made their money because I certainly didn't pay to watch thsi crap. You can thank the internet for that, or maybe I can blame it. If you are one of those people that loves bad movies. You are in for a treat because Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull serves up some primo viewing trash. If any movie deserves a riff track it's this. I'm very happy that in the same night I watched Silence of The Lambs.
Now there's an awesome movie that EVERYONE should watch.
Next Time, I should have a new video game to talk about. What that will be, I'm unsure yet.
PEACE
I finally watched Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull and I don't know what to think. It's hit me like a ton of bricks. I've never been especially fond of Indiana Jones. I know people who think he's the greatest but I've always been a Batman/Star Wars kind of guy. I didn't watch Indiana Jones and The Raiders of The Lost Ark until my 18th birthday. I hadn't seen the other two movies until about a month ago.
The original trilogy is much like the original Star Wars trilogy in that its spirit and imagination are unprecedented. They're great films and I like all of them. I was kind of stoked to watch Indiana Jones 4 and then the word of mouth came my way. Negative response after another, I found any shred of hope I may have had for the film dwindling. Was there any hope this was going to be good.
It started out well, I had hope it would carry out some glimmer of promise. The prequel trilogy of Star Wars wasn't the best but it was watchable. This Indiana Jones was not the Indy I knew... This Indy was old, past his prime. He met a young greaser by the name of "Mutt Williams" played by Shia LeBouf of Transformers fame. Mutt wanted Indiana Jones to help him save his mother because nobody else would. Their trail lead Indiana Jones to learn that what he once assumed a myth of the tallest tale was something very real.
I can't disregard the imagination they tried to achieve for this movie. Its certainly no fault to Cate Blanchet who did her best but I liked her better as Crazy Bob Dylan. Was it the throwing the gunpowder into the air to find the highly magnetic box? Was it Shia, swinging through vines with chimpanzee. Or all the "mom" "dad" "family" jokes that even Superman Returns had the courtesy to avoid.
This movie was shameful. I hope they made their money because I certainly didn't pay to watch thsi crap. You can thank the internet for that, or maybe I can blame it. If you are one of those people that loves bad movies. You are in for a treat because Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull serves up some primo viewing trash. If any movie deserves a riff track it's this. I'm very happy that in the same night I watched Silence of The Lambs.
Now there's an awesome movie that EVERYONE should watch.
Next Time, I should have a new video game to talk about. What that will be, I'm unsure yet.
PEACE
Friday, November 28, 2008
Hollywood dips its hands into the super hero cookie jar with Hancock
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
Earlier I talked about the movie Wanted. But I also mentioned having watched Hancock and I wanted to talk about that too. You would pretty much have to be living in a hole in the ground to not notice the saturation of comic books into mainstream Hollywood. Superheroes are everywhere and there doesn't seem to be much sign of letting up. However, Hollywood hasn't borrowed all of its comic book hysteria. Movies like Sky High, Zoom and My Super Ex-Girlfriend have all played off of this super powered hysteria but all of them have missed the mark until now. Will Smith's Hancock. Again, spoiler warning I'm not going to try and give away too much of this movie.
Hancock is a derelict asshole, he selflessly helps people and is only brought back with anger and expressed frustration from his adoring public. In response he's chosen to drown his sorrows and live his life on the streets. It isn't until he meets public relations whiz Ray Embrey played brilliantly by Jason Bateman of Arrested Development fame. Ray pleads with Hancock to own u p to his dues to the public by serving a prison sentence. It's during this time that Ray tirelessly devotes his efforts into making Hancock a marketable hero.
I love this movie because it's completely original. We have a hero who clearly has inspirations from comic lore but its Will Smith that turns this into a monumental success. Playing a character unlike anything I've ever seen him portray. We see more of Will Smith's incredible acting range (See: Ali and Persuit of Happiness) as he plays Hancock down to his lowest. When we meet the character it's very clear that for Hancock he's hit rock bottom a long time ago.
In prison, he embraces the experience knowing nobody would dare try anything on him in there. He takes part in group therapy sessions and plays hoops outside. There's some hilarious shots of him making baskets from across the yard. He misses one and the ball goes bouncing high out of the penetentary gates. Hancock eyes the ball before leaping out after it. After he lands he looks out into the vastness surrounding the prison and back to the gates. He knows they can't hold him there but that's not what its about. After a moments hesitation he jump back into the prison gates to hold his sentence.
Charlize Theron play's Ray Embrey's wife. She is a great actress and even though she's kind of the weakest link character wise in this film. That's only because Will Smith and Jason Batemen are excellent in their characters. Hancock is a good movie. Check it out with your family and friends. The end of the movie is bogged down, and nearly kills the immense momentum the movie gains from the beginning but it doesn't harm the overall film. It's a fun adventure where we get to see Hancock clean his act up. Will Smith is hilarious and I think this is a movie that even super-heroic cinics could enjoy.
Check out Hancock. Just don't call him an asshole!
PEACE
Earlier I talked about the movie Wanted. But I also mentioned having watched Hancock and I wanted to talk about that too. You would pretty much have to be living in a hole in the ground to not notice the saturation of comic books into mainstream Hollywood. Superheroes are everywhere and there doesn't seem to be much sign of letting up. However, Hollywood hasn't borrowed all of its comic book hysteria. Movies like Sky High, Zoom and My Super Ex-Girlfriend have all played off of this super powered hysteria but all of them have missed the mark until now. Will Smith's Hancock. Again, spoiler warning I'm not going to try and give away too much of this movie.
Hancock is a derelict asshole, he selflessly helps people and is only brought back with anger and expressed frustration from his adoring public. In response he's chosen to drown his sorrows and live his life on the streets. It isn't until he meets public relations whiz Ray Embrey played brilliantly by Jason Bateman of Arrested Development fame. Ray pleads with Hancock to own u p to his dues to the public by serving a prison sentence. It's during this time that Ray tirelessly devotes his efforts into making Hancock a marketable hero.
I love this movie because it's completely original. We have a hero who clearly has inspirations from comic lore but its Will Smith that turns this into a monumental success. Playing a character unlike anything I've ever seen him portray. We see more of Will Smith's incredible acting range (See: Ali and Persuit of Happiness) as he plays Hancock down to his lowest. When we meet the character it's very clear that for Hancock he's hit rock bottom a long time ago.
In prison, he embraces the experience knowing nobody would dare try anything on him in there. He takes part in group therapy sessions and plays hoops outside. There's some hilarious shots of him making baskets from across the yard. He misses one and the ball goes bouncing high out of the penetentary gates. Hancock eyes the ball before leaping out after it. After he lands he looks out into the vastness surrounding the prison and back to the gates. He knows they can't hold him there but that's not what its about. After a moments hesitation he jump back into the prison gates to hold his sentence.
Charlize Theron play's Ray Embrey's wife. She is a great actress and even though she's kind of the weakest link character wise in this film. That's only because Will Smith and Jason Batemen are excellent in their characters. Hancock is a good movie. Check it out with your family and friends. The end of the movie is bogged down, and nearly kills the immense momentum the movie gains from the beginning but it doesn't harm the overall film. It's a fun adventure where we get to see Hancock clean his act up. Will Smith is hilarious and I think this is a movie that even super-heroic cinics could enjoy.
Check out Hancock. Just don't call him an asshole!
PEACE
Wanted: A Faithful Comic Book Adaptation
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
Yesterday I watched a couple of superhero movies. It was an interesting perspective to watch. On one hand we had Wanted. Staring James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie. On the other hand we had Hancock, starring Will Smith, Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron. Two movies that were, okay but missed the mark for different reasons. Before I get into it, yes, there will be spoilers so you'll probably want to stop reading here if you haven't seen Wanted specifically... i don't even know if I'll get to Hancock.
ITS RANT TIME!
Wanted is based off of one of my favorite comic books of the same name. Written by comic's scribe Mark Millar. Wanted is a tale of escapism, a tale of an ordinary joe like you and me being given an opportunity to become something greater than he truly imagined. The comic paints a dark tale of the depths of human depravity. We witness Wesley slowly transitioned from a spineless weasel to a fully testosteroned killing machine. Mark Millar's penchant for cinematic storytelling really helps the comic feel like you're watching a movie. The beautiful art by artist J.G. Jones is also one of the corner stones of the comic's strength.
The movie starts out much like the comic. Helmed by russian director and visual mastermind Timur Bekmambetov. director of russian vampire films that everyone needst to watch. Night Watch and Day Watch. Wanted starts out with Wesley Gibson sitting in his office, speaking about how he hates his life. The beginning of the movie is like watching the comic book come to life and if you're like me, you feel kind of giddy watching it.
As the story continues, Wesley is confronted by a lovely lady named "Fox" who tells him that somebody is trying to kill him. Fox introduces Wesley to Sloan, the leader of The Fraternity. A guild of assassins who bring down the hammer of fate. I won't go to far into it but let me just say that they listen to weaves of thread... its dumb. He's unconvinced of Sloan and his fraternity so he goes home to sleep it off. Waking to find the very gun in his pants that he'd used the night before to shoot the wings off of flies at gun point (a scene they lifted right from the comic book). It's at this point Wesley starts believing that there may be more truth to the Fraternity than he'd oribginally imagined.
Wesley takes stress pills due to completing the repetitive tasks of his job all day long. His manager, an overweight woman who has a penchant for the mean, looms over Wesley and begins to berate him for his work ethic in the beginning of what is probably the most enjoying scene in the movie to watch. Wesley proceeds to tell his boss to shut the fuck up, and then further on goes to tell her how her entire staff hates her, and if she wasn't such a fat bitch they would simply pity her for being so useless. After putting his boss in her place, Wesley grabs his keyboard and strikes it across the face of one of his co-workers who was fucking his girlfriend.
ANYWAY. Wesley eventually comes around and decides to learn the ways of the fraternity. Being punched in the face, being taught how to shoot human targets, taught how to sword fight. He is given a crash course in Assassination 101. They're training him to kill the man who killed his father. Sloan, the best assassin in the fraternity who'se gone rogue. Finally, Wesley feels that he's ready to take Sloan out and he goes to confront him. One intense action scene on a moving train later. Wesley gets the kill, only to find out that he did not kill the man who killed his father but he'd killed his father himself. The fraternity pulled a quick one on ol' Wesley. Wesley learns the truth and decides he needs to get vengeance for his father.
The story diverges from the comic pretty much as soon as Angelina Jolie enters the fray and from there you're lead on an action roller coaster unlike we've experienced in this new age of CGI. Its intense and relentless. It's pretty awesome to watch but holds little to no resonance if you happen to be a fan of the comic. If you're a fan of action flicks, it's a home run. I can't help but imagine how amazing the movie could've been if they followed the comic.
The comic is much different, although it begins similarly as I mentioned above. Wesley is a common joe like you or me. He hates his life, his job, he hates his girlfriend that cheats on him with his best friend and co-worker. The whole idea is that super-villains, not assassains, decided to band together and use their vast powers to eliminate the world's superheroes and rewrite reality in a darker image. Leaving superheroes to be remembered as vague fiction, like they are in the real world. leaving a cabal of villains to run the world from behind the scenes.
Wesley learns that his recently assassinated father was a super-villain named "The Killer" and that Wesley inherited his perfect aim and uncanny skill with any weapon from his father. He enters this new life and must deal now with the most dangerous and lethal people in the world. When Wesley meets Fox, he quits his job and joins the fraternity. He goes through a period of training where he's desensitised to violence. Tied up to a chair just like in the film but told that "he had to get rid of that faggoty fear of being punched in the face sometime" a classic line they neglected to use in the movie during the same scene. He's also given license to fufill every desire he's had. Which includes rape, radically motivated violence and random murder. He goes on to sever his connections to his past life by breaking up with his girlfriend and killing the best friend that she was cheating on him with. He becomes the bodyguard of a super scientist named "Professor Seltzer" who is one of the five, the leading council of the fraternity.
At a council meeting, the main antagonist of the comic book "Mister Rictus" a man who appears to have no skin and bears a skeletal appearance, calls a vote that the Fraternity come forward as the ruling body of the earth. When Wesley encounters Rictus at this meeting my favorite dialog of the comic occurs where Wesley tells Rictus to "Eat shit, sheep fucker." Where Rictus retorts. "I dont fuck sheep, I make love to them."
The vote is defeated narrowly due to hypnotic manipulation by another of The five, "The Emperor". Rictus is tired of hiding in the shadows and also feels he drew the short stick by ontrolling only Australia. He has the professor executed by a lackey of his named Shithead, a creature made of the shit of the evilist people in history. "Death by dysentery!" he screams before drowning the professor in the back of his own limozine... He also has Wesley and Fox marked for death. Wesley strikes back by infiltrating the Fraternities north american headquarters. Killing many villains and Mister Rictus.
After he killed him, Wesley learns that his father is alive and well. The original Killer goes on to explain that he faked his death and got wesley to join the Fraternity to make Wesley into a man. After a little heart-to-heart he tells Wesley that the final step of his training is that he must kill his Father. Telling Wesley that he 'can't handle the idea of not being the best'. Wesley obliges after resisting and tells Fox that he's returning to his former life of msery. After expressing disbelief the Fox realizes he's joking. The ending of the comic is somewhat like the movie. The movie has Wesley breaking the fourth wall in a monologue, saying that he's taking control of his life, what the fuck are we doing? In the comic the ending is a little less tactful, with the final page having Wesley scream "This is my face while I'm fucking you in the ass."
The movie doesn't hold a candle to the comic book, which sucks. Comic book fans will not get anything out of this movie. But hopefully movie goers who haven't been exposed to the comic will watch the movie and be blown away. And maybe even go out and find the comic book in the local book store and read it. The only good thing about the saturation of hollywood into the comic book industry is that maybe, just maybe, more people will start reading the comic books that only a small chunk of society holds so dear.
The comic is an uncompromising thrill ride. An exciting tale of escapism and action. In this sense, the movie and the book are the same. But it's really the only similarities they share.
Sorry about the spoilers but until next time....
PEACE!
Yesterday I watched a couple of superhero movies. It was an interesting perspective to watch. On one hand we had Wanted. Staring James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie. On the other hand we had Hancock, starring Will Smith, Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron. Two movies that were, okay but missed the mark for different reasons. Before I get into it, yes, there will be spoilers so you'll probably want to stop reading here if you haven't seen Wanted specifically... i don't even know if I'll get to Hancock.
ITS RANT TIME!
Wanted is based off of one of my favorite comic books of the same name. Written by comic's scribe Mark Millar. Wanted is a tale of escapism, a tale of an ordinary joe like you and me being given an opportunity to become something greater than he truly imagined. The comic paints a dark tale of the depths of human depravity. We witness Wesley slowly transitioned from a spineless weasel to a fully testosteroned killing machine. Mark Millar's penchant for cinematic storytelling really helps the comic feel like you're watching a movie. The beautiful art by artist J.G. Jones is also one of the corner stones of the comic's strength.
The movie starts out much like the comic. Helmed by russian director and visual mastermind Timur Bekmambetov. director of russian vampire films that everyone needst to watch. Night Watch and Day Watch. Wanted starts out with Wesley Gibson sitting in his office, speaking about how he hates his life. The beginning of the movie is like watching the comic book come to life and if you're like me, you feel kind of giddy watching it.
As the story continues, Wesley is confronted by a lovely lady named "Fox" who tells him that somebody is trying to kill him. Fox introduces Wesley to Sloan, the leader of The Fraternity. A guild of assassins who bring down the hammer of fate. I won't go to far into it but let me just say that they listen to weaves of thread... its dumb. He's unconvinced of Sloan and his fraternity so he goes home to sleep it off. Waking to find the very gun in his pants that he'd used the night before to shoot the wings off of flies at gun point (a scene they lifted right from the comic book). It's at this point Wesley starts believing that there may be more truth to the Fraternity than he'd oribginally imagined.
Wesley takes stress pills due to completing the repetitive tasks of his job all day long. His manager, an overweight woman who has a penchant for the mean, looms over Wesley and begins to berate him for his work ethic in the beginning of what is probably the most enjoying scene in the movie to watch. Wesley proceeds to tell his boss to shut the fuck up, and then further on goes to tell her how her entire staff hates her, and if she wasn't such a fat bitch they would simply pity her for being so useless. After putting his boss in her place, Wesley grabs his keyboard and strikes it across the face of one of his co-workers who was fucking his girlfriend.
ANYWAY. Wesley eventually comes around and decides to learn the ways of the fraternity. Being punched in the face, being taught how to shoot human targets, taught how to sword fight. He is given a crash course in Assassination 101. They're training him to kill the man who killed his father. Sloan, the best assassin in the fraternity who'se gone rogue. Finally, Wesley feels that he's ready to take Sloan out and he goes to confront him. One intense action scene on a moving train later. Wesley gets the kill, only to find out that he did not kill the man who killed his father but he'd killed his father himself. The fraternity pulled a quick one on ol' Wesley. Wesley learns the truth and decides he needs to get vengeance for his father.
The story diverges from the comic pretty much as soon as Angelina Jolie enters the fray and from there you're lead on an action roller coaster unlike we've experienced in this new age of CGI. Its intense and relentless. It's pretty awesome to watch but holds little to no resonance if you happen to be a fan of the comic. If you're a fan of action flicks, it's a home run. I can't help but imagine how amazing the movie could've been if they followed the comic.
The comic is much different, although it begins similarly as I mentioned above. Wesley is a common joe like you or me. He hates his life, his job, he hates his girlfriend that cheats on him with his best friend and co-worker. The whole idea is that super-villains, not assassains, decided to band together and use their vast powers to eliminate the world's superheroes and rewrite reality in a darker image. Leaving superheroes to be remembered as vague fiction, like they are in the real world. leaving a cabal of villains to run the world from behind the scenes.
Wesley learns that his recently assassinated father was a super-villain named "The Killer" and that Wesley inherited his perfect aim and uncanny skill with any weapon from his father. He enters this new life and must deal now with the most dangerous and lethal people in the world. When Wesley meets Fox, he quits his job and joins the fraternity. He goes through a period of training where he's desensitised to violence. Tied up to a chair just like in the film but told that "he had to get rid of that faggoty fear of being punched in the face sometime" a classic line they neglected to use in the movie during the same scene. He's also given license to fufill every desire he's had. Which includes rape, radically motivated violence and random murder. He goes on to sever his connections to his past life by breaking up with his girlfriend and killing the best friend that she was cheating on him with. He becomes the bodyguard of a super scientist named "Professor Seltzer" who is one of the five, the leading council of the fraternity.
At a council meeting, the main antagonist of the comic book "Mister Rictus" a man who appears to have no skin and bears a skeletal appearance, calls a vote that the Fraternity come forward as the ruling body of the earth. When Wesley encounters Rictus at this meeting my favorite dialog of the comic occurs where Wesley tells Rictus to "Eat shit, sheep fucker." Where Rictus retorts. "I dont fuck sheep, I make love to them."
The vote is defeated narrowly due to hypnotic manipulation by another of The five, "The Emperor". Rictus is tired of hiding in the shadows and also feels he drew the short stick by ontrolling only Australia. He has the professor executed by a lackey of his named Shithead, a creature made of the shit of the evilist people in history. "Death by dysentery!" he screams before drowning the professor in the back of his own limozine... He also has Wesley and Fox marked for death. Wesley strikes back by infiltrating the Fraternities north american headquarters. Killing many villains and Mister Rictus.
After he killed him, Wesley learns that his father is alive and well. The original Killer goes on to explain that he faked his death and got wesley to join the Fraternity to make Wesley into a man. After a little heart-to-heart he tells Wesley that the final step of his training is that he must kill his Father. Telling Wesley that he 'can't handle the idea of not being the best'. Wesley obliges after resisting and tells Fox that he's returning to his former life of msery. After expressing disbelief the Fox realizes he's joking. The ending of the comic is somewhat like the movie. The movie has Wesley breaking the fourth wall in a monologue, saying that he's taking control of his life, what the fuck are we doing? In the comic the ending is a little less tactful, with the final page having Wesley scream "This is my face while I'm fucking you in the ass."
The movie doesn't hold a candle to the comic book, which sucks. Comic book fans will not get anything out of this movie. But hopefully movie goers who haven't been exposed to the comic will watch the movie and be blown away. And maybe even go out and find the comic book in the local book store and read it. The only good thing about the saturation of hollywood into the comic book industry is that maybe, just maybe, more people will start reading the comic books that only a small chunk of society holds so dear.
The comic is an uncompromising thrill ride. An exciting tale of escapism and action. In this sense, the movie and the book are the same. But it's really the only similarities they share.
Sorry about the spoilers but until next time....
PEACE!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Apparently we've forgotten what Vampires are all about.
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
I've been busy with things, and that's why I haven't blogged too much lately. I've got something to say today however. In addition to noting that, I'm really only promising to myself that I'm going to give this a bit more attention. I successfully moved with my girlfriend and we've got all those lovely new stresses to deal with. I've found a job and I'm working so that's good.
But there's still a lot of time for procrastination. That's where movies and video games come into play. It's come to my attention that Vampires are all of a sudden cool again. They're on TV, they're in my movies, they're in my media. What was just something that Goths and LARP'ers were into is now a commonly accepted avenue for storytelling I guess.
The catalyst of my rage is the book "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer. This book has spawned huge commercial success, and three following novels. "New Moon", "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn" These romantically themed novels shining a brighter light on an otherwise dark and brooding creature has gotten hollywood's attention as well. Spawing the first of what is sure to be milked out as a film franchise.
The story Twilight is about a young girl who finds herself smitten by somebody she concludes is a Vampire! The vampire and the girl fall in love...
They fall in love?
I'm sorry. I've watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer. This shit just doesn't go down. Vampirs are SOULLESS! They are incapable of love! They're incapable of feeling and are creatures driven by pure desire. These desires are not physical. A vampire persues things that it takes an eternity to get. Vampires want power, they want prestige. They don't want into some teenagers pants.
Yes... Buffy fell for Angel, (Aaaand Spike) But they both had SOULS. They are anomalies in vampiric lore.
These books, which craft a lovely tale (I got a synopsis from Wikipedia, no way in HELL I'm actually going to read it. If I need some Vampiric love, I'll just force feed myself Underworld 2) where the main character falls in love with a Vampire. Vampire fears for his girlfriends safety, flees. In the second book, the main character meets a boy who is later revealed to be... A WEREWOLF (SHOCKING!) So this love triangle goes on into the fourth book. The newly converted Vampire makes a little baby Vampire while the scourned Werewolf stands there with his thumb up his bumb.
Seriously? This sounds like a fan fiction and by no means is that a compliment.
Now it's being made into a movie, invading my culture. This is ridiculous. Vampires don't love. I don't get how this shit can be taken seriously but I guess if this gets teenaged girls to stop watching horrible reality television and reading then that's a good thing, right?
I feel pretty strongly about Vampires. Their do's and don'ts. The Love card is a serious don't. Thirst for blood, thirst for vengeance. No thirsting for poonani. Vampires have bigger things to worry about. Im sure some would argue that vampries are sexual creatures because, we humans are sexual creatures. Humans worry enough about all the sex that they aren't having. I'm sure Vampires have much more important things to worry about in their immortality.
I don't know anyone who's read this book so I'm pretty much just shooting from the hip. A friend of mine told me the book was "good" but the movie "wasn't worth watching on an airplane"... Does anyone feel ripped off by these books? I feel ripped off and I haven't even gazed upon the first page! Maybe I'm missing out on something. If I cave and read this book, you'll be sure to hear about it. Until then though, EDUCATE yourselves. Go out and rent Bram Stokers: Dracula or hell go out and rent Underworld (the first one, not... for the love of god not the second one!)
Until I've become more informed about that new TV show "True Blood" which is sure to stir up more of my vampiric rage, next time should be a bit more organized and maybe less angry. Maybe something about sports or hating my job? Maybe a video game or movie rant... Who knows what will tickle my anger bone.
- PEACE
I've been busy with things, and that's why I haven't blogged too much lately. I've got something to say today however. In addition to noting that, I'm really only promising to myself that I'm going to give this a bit more attention. I successfully moved with my girlfriend and we've got all those lovely new stresses to deal with. I've found a job and I'm working so that's good.
But there's still a lot of time for procrastination. That's where movies and video games come into play. It's come to my attention that Vampires are all of a sudden cool again. They're on TV, they're in my movies, they're in my media. What was just something that Goths and LARP'ers were into is now a commonly accepted avenue for storytelling I guess.
The catalyst of my rage is the book "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer. This book has spawned huge commercial success, and three following novels. "New Moon", "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn" These romantically themed novels shining a brighter light on an otherwise dark and brooding creature has gotten hollywood's attention as well. Spawing the first of what is sure to be milked out as a film franchise.
The story Twilight is about a young girl who finds herself smitten by somebody she concludes is a Vampire! The vampire and the girl fall in love...
They fall in love?
I'm sorry. I've watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer. This shit just doesn't go down. Vampirs are SOULLESS! They are incapable of love! They're incapable of feeling and are creatures driven by pure desire. These desires are not physical. A vampire persues things that it takes an eternity to get. Vampires want power, they want prestige. They don't want into some teenagers pants.
Yes... Buffy fell for Angel, (Aaaand Spike) But they both had SOULS. They are anomalies in vampiric lore.
These books, which craft a lovely tale (I got a synopsis from Wikipedia, no way in HELL I'm actually going to read it. If I need some Vampiric love, I'll just force feed myself Underworld 2) where the main character falls in love with a Vampire. Vampire fears for his girlfriends safety, flees. In the second book, the main character meets a boy who is later revealed to be... A WEREWOLF (SHOCKING!) So this love triangle goes on into the fourth book. The newly converted Vampire makes a little baby Vampire while the scourned Werewolf stands there with his thumb up his bumb.
Seriously? This sounds like a fan fiction and by no means is that a compliment.
Now it's being made into a movie, invading my culture. This is ridiculous. Vampires don't love. I don't get how this shit can be taken seriously but I guess if this gets teenaged girls to stop watching horrible reality television and reading then that's a good thing, right?
I feel pretty strongly about Vampires. Their do's and don'ts. The Love card is a serious don't. Thirst for blood, thirst for vengeance. No thirsting for poonani. Vampires have bigger things to worry about. Im sure some would argue that vampries are sexual creatures because, we humans are sexual creatures. Humans worry enough about all the sex that they aren't having. I'm sure Vampires have much more important things to worry about in their immortality.
I don't know anyone who's read this book so I'm pretty much just shooting from the hip. A friend of mine told me the book was "good" but the movie "wasn't worth watching on an airplane"... Does anyone feel ripped off by these books? I feel ripped off and I haven't even gazed upon the first page! Maybe I'm missing out on something. If I cave and read this book, you'll be sure to hear about it. Until then though, EDUCATE yourselves. Go out and rent Bram Stokers: Dracula or hell go out and rent Underworld (the first one, not... for the love of god not the second one!)
Until I've become more informed about that new TV show "True Blood" which is sure to stir up more of my vampiric rage, next time should be a bit more organized and maybe less angry. Maybe something about sports or hating my job? Maybe a video game or movie rant... Who knows what will tickle my anger bone.
- PEACE
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
I'm sure most of you have moved from your homes, maybe more than once. Everyone moves that first time, after high school, maybe before, you bid your parents adieu and you set yourself loose upon the world. Maybe you got an apartment, or maybe a few friends of yours collaborated together and you got a house to share. The first move is critical, and its here that the story changes for everyone.
Eventually that second move comes around, in my case, it's looming. I've looked forward to moving out of town but it's almost felt like a fairy tale at times. The kind of story that you tell to inspire some kind of hope. It never felt like my story and that made me sick because where I live, its kind of a dive. That's really not the important part of todays blog though, I'm kind of un-focused but that's kind of the point...
My girlfriend, Natasha, has had her heart set on a particular location, Nelson B.C. She went to school there and feels great about the place, a place that I've never been near, let alone to. The funny thing about love is you're just willing to jump into that kind of a situation. I feel more than willing to take a leap, I've wanted a radical change for some time but it's really un-economically viable to just do something... at least when you're preferable to being a little prepared like I am. Opportunities and time, were dwindling and our options were becoming narrow.
Desperate choices met grave results, which was difficult on her, and on me because I've got to be the rock. She's all over the place who's going to remind her that the sky isn't falling and things will fall into place as the always do. Stress gets to me, but as a general rule, I don't let stress get to me so its a constant struggle. Circumstances started to look up and as things started to go our way, things started to go horribly wrong. Apartments that didn't allow pets. Trailer Parks that didn't allow pets, Both Natasha and I both have a cat, we're both quite attached to and don't plan on departing with so that's simply not an option.
A new option arose, affordable and enviable, only 10 minutes out of town. This Trailer Park presented a whole new slew of problems. They would not accept a phone call and demanded an in-person interview. Its kind of inconvenient when you live over a thousand kilometers away (Over 1,300 actually). Other trailer park owners were not miffed by a phone-call interview so what the fuck is the knot in this guys panties?
Now there's new demands, there can only be one pet in the trailer? What the fuck is this? Let me set the record straight. Both her cat, and mine, are indoor cats, there wont be any problems they will have to deal with so I don't understand how having two indoor cats is any kind of a problem? In a sensible world anyway, I don't think we live in one anymore. So now this, gentleman, has demanded that we pay a 300 dollar application fee. A demand that is flat-out 100% illegal.
They have imposed an illegal application fee upon us, and they have blatantly tried to discourage us from purchasing the property. The Manufacture Home Park Tenancy Act clearly states... A landlord must not charge a person anything for
I'm sure most of you have moved from your homes, maybe more than once. Everyone moves that first time, after high school, maybe before, you bid your parents adieu and you set yourself loose upon the world. Maybe you got an apartment, or maybe a few friends of yours collaborated together and you got a house to share. The first move is critical, and its here that the story changes for everyone.
Eventually that second move comes around, in my case, it's looming. I've looked forward to moving out of town but it's almost felt like a fairy tale at times. The kind of story that you tell to inspire some kind of hope. It never felt like my story and that made me sick because where I live, its kind of a dive. That's really not the important part of todays blog though, I'm kind of un-focused but that's kind of the point...
My girlfriend, Natasha, has had her heart set on a particular location, Nelson B.C. She went to school there and feels great about the place, a place that I've never been near, let alone to. The funny thing about love is you're just willing to jump into that kind of a situation. I feel more than willing to take a leap, I've wanted a radical change for some time but it's really un-economically viable to just do something... at least when you're preferable to being a little prepared like I am. Opportunities and time, were dwindling and our options were becoming narrow.
Desperate choices met grave results, which was difficult on her, and on me because I've got to be the rock. She's all over the place who's going to remind her that the sky isn't falling and things will fall into place as the always do. Stress gets to me, but as a general rule, I don't let stress get to me so its a constant struggle. Circumstances started to look up and as things started to go our way, things started to go horribly wrong. Apartments that didn't allow pets. Trailer Parks that didn't allow pets, Both Natasha and I both have a cat, we're both quite attached to and don't plan on departing with so that's simply not an option.
A new option arose, affordable and enviable, only 10 minutes out of town. This Trailer Park presented a whole new slew of problems. They would not accept a phone call and demanded an in-person interview. Its kind of inconvenient when you live over a thousand kilometers away (Over 1,300 actually). Other trailer park owners were not miffed by a phone-call interview so what the fuck is the knot in this guys panties?
Now there's new demands, there can only be one pet in the trailer? What the fuck is this? Let me set the record straight. Both her cat, and mine, are indoor cats, there wont be any problems they will have to deal with so I don't understand how having two indoor cats is any kind of a problem? In a sensible world anyway, I don't think we live in one anymore. So now this, gentleman, has demanded that we pay a 300 dollar application fee. A demand that is flat-out 100% illegal.
They have imposed an illegal application fee upon us, and they have blatantly tried to discourage us from purchasing the property. The Manufacture Home Park Tenancy Act clearly states... A landlord must not charge a person anything for
(a) accepting an application for a tenancy,
(b) processing the application,
(c) investigating the applicant's suitability as a tenant, or
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Summing Up The Summer
I've been kind of busy these past couple of months and I haven't made any time to blog about anything so I think now's a good time to just kind of sum up my summer and the things I was looking forward to.
First and foremost lets talk about some Movies.
THE DARK KNIGHT: The single most anticipated movie of my life-time and it in absolutely no ways dissociated. Right from the opening scene where you see two men in clown masks, kicking open a office building window before rappelling down a impromptu line to a bank across the street. To the very end where Jim Gordon is summing up what Batman means to Gotham City. To every single little moment where Heath Ledger flawlessly portrays The Joker. This movie was a complete home run. Christian Bale's raspy Batman voice aside, and maybe one or two little nitpicky plot points. The movie is a virtual 10/10
HELLBOY 2 THE GOLDEN ARMY: This movie was pretty cool just because I was really expecting it to be saturated with the mood of Pans Labyrinth. Director Guillermo Del Toro's foreign language masterpiece. Its impact isn't unnoticed as Hellboy finds himself going up against a prince of an ancient tribe of elves who have upheld a truce with mankind for generations. Ron Pearlman's spot-on casting as Hellboy shines through again as he delviers to us a very human portrayal of a character that's supposed to be a demon with a hellish destiny. You get the feeling that Hellboy could even be your best friend if he wasn't kicking supernatural ass. Abe Sapien get's a larger role in this movie which makes it even better. Beautiful moments keep this movie going strong. 8/10
WALL-E: Yeah, yeah, this little robot's got everybody talking about what is considered already a Pixar Masterpeice. It's a masterpeice I didn't enjoy as much as everyone else seemed to. The thing that makes Wall-E special first and foremost is that the movie has very little dialog, for the interaction in the most part is between robots who beep and squeak and humm, there isn't a lot of actual talking until Mankind comes into the fold. I think the Kids will get a big kick out of this but I enjoyed Pixar's last effort, Ratattouille a lot more. 7/10
STEP BROTHERS: The newest pic from the Will Ferrel/Adam McKay camp, co-starring Talledegah Night's standout John. C. Reilly. This movie is about a couple of single parents who get married, and they both happen to have sons that still live at home with them. One of these sons, is named Brendan, (Played by Ferrell) a 40 year old who is unemployed. And Dale, (played by Reilly) is a 39 year old, also unemployed. As Brendan and his mother move into the house that Dale and his Father reside in, an immediate rift is formed between the two step-brothers that begins to tear the relationship of their parents apart. If you're not a Ferrel fan you probably won't enjoy this outing but I think the humor will translate well to anyone that's had a sibling rivalry of any kind. There's too many moments in this movie that I'm sure one of them will have your side splitting! (Or if you hate Ferrell, maybe this movie will just make your head split.) 7/10
PINEAPPLE EXPRESS: Seth Rogen might as well be given a crown because he's, in my opinion, the new king of Comedy in Hollywood. After re-inventing coming-of-age comedies with the super-hit Superbad. This summer he re-invents stoner comedy with Pineapple Express. Rogen plays Dale Denton, a Prosess Server who has an affinity for his job, and for smoking weed. Having a hoot before handing a subpoena over to someone he witnesses the person in question commit a murder with a crooked cop. Startled and sure that he's good as dead, he immediately runs, stopping to make sure his Drug Dealer is with him and together they embark on a journey that well, you pretty much need to be stoned to believe. The movie is hilarious and I only give it a 7/10 because I thought it was as good as Step-Brothers but If it's better for any reason. It's for the scene at the end with the Belt Buckle and The Duct Tape and you'll know what I mean when you see it. 7/10 if you like Will Ferrel 8/10 if you like weed more.
The Summer hasn't been all movies though. Well, It for the most part has. I did get my hands on Madden NFL 09, after waiting in Wal-Mart for over an hour due to employee ineptitude (That's how badly I wanted the game) I have to say that without a doubt, Madden is back baby! The presentation is off the hook and the game actually has announcers this year so you're not stuck listening to that boring nameless radio guy. They've got real NFL commenators Tom Hammond and Chris Collinsworth.
The graphics are a step up from last years verson, and a complete overhaul of tackling cinematics ensures that your gameplay experience won't be so linear. Gone are the days when the players on the field would just kind of un-realistically bump into each other. Now they'll group tackle, hop over diving tacklers, drag you down by the uniform. The Audio quality is no slouch either, if you got that TV turned up loud enough you might just believe that those bone crunching hits are happening to you.
The Superstar mode, yet again, misses the mark. I hope they get rid of it in next years version for something a bit more interesting. The Superstar Mode is a good idea, except that every year they seem to get further and further away from anything about it that's good. While dragging along the nagging problems I have with it. There needs to be a better system for getting a decent stat set for your player off the bat. The drills are faulty and you shouldn't be surprised if your Superstar is a little below average coming into the NFL draft.
Franchise Mode is relatively unchanged from last years game which is a good thing. The improvments they have made tot his years madden game. Which includes Touchdown Celebrations (although, if you decide to jump into the end zone fans don't be surprised if your player jumps through them) and a new "Back Track" mode, where Chris Collinsworth will show you in an instant replay where you wen't wrong, and what you could've done to make that play a bit better. It's kind of cool but it gets annoying seeing your horrible mistakes over and over again. And the Commentators, although cool, aren't given a whole lot to say and even after playing a few games its really difficult not to notice how little those guys are given to say as you hear things over and over and over again. Overall, if you passed on Madden now is the perfect chance to jump back on board. If you're a sports gamer, they've made it worth your while this year.
I've got nothing else to really talk about. I hope that September is a much more opinionated month for me and judging how August is ending, I think it might go that way, especially if smarmy Stephen Harper calls an election.
Stephen Harper, you're smarmy and I don't like you! Why don't you move to America since you love them so much! (and they obviously, love you or you probably wouldn't be Prime Minister) Okay I'm getting distracted again, it's time to go
- PEACE!
First and foremost lets talk about some Movies.
THE DARK KNIGHT: The single most anticipated movie of my life-time and it in absolutely no ways dissociated. Right from the opening scene where you see two men in clown masks, kicking open a office building window before rappelling down a impromptu line to a bank across the street. To the very end where Jim Gordon is summing up what Batman means to Gotham City. To every single little moment where Heath Ledger flawlessly portrays The Joker. This movie was a complete home run. Christian Bale's raspy Batman voice aside, and maybe one or two little nitpicky plot points. The movie is a virtual 10/10
HELLBOY 2 THE GOLDEN ARMY: This movie was pretty cool just because I was really expecting it to be saturated with the mood of Pans Labyrinth. Director Guillermo Del Toro's foreign language masterpiece. Its impact isn't unnoticed as Hellboy finds himself going up against a prince of an ancient tribe of elves who have upheld a truce with mankind for generations. Ron Pearlman's spot-on casting as Hellboy shines through again as he delviers to us a very human portrayal of a character that's supposed to be a demon with a hellish destiny. You get the feeling that Hellboy could even be your best friend if he wasn't kicking supernatural ass. Abe Sapien get's a larger role in this movie which makes it even better. Beautiful moments keep this movie going strong. 8/10
WALL-E: Yeah, yeah, this little robot's got everybody talking about what is considered already a Pixar Masterpeice. It's a masterpeice I didn't enjoy as much as everyone else seemed to. The thing that makes Wall-E special first and foremost is that the movie has very little dialog, for the interaction in the most part is between robots who beep and squeak and humm, there isn't a lot of actual talking until Mankind comes into the fold. I think the Kids will get a big kick out of this but I enjoyed Pixar's last effort, Ratattouille a lot more. 7/10
STEP BROTHERS: The newest pic from the Will Ferrel/Adam McKay camp, co-starring Talledegah Night's standout John. C. Reilly. This movie is about a couple of single parents who get married, and they both happen to have sons that still live at home with them. One of these sons, is named Brendan, (Played by Ferrell) a 40 year old who is unemployed. And Dale, (played by Reilly) is a 39 year old, also unemployed. As Brendan and his mother move into the house that Dale and his Father reside in, an immediate rift is formed between the two step-brothers that begins to tear the relationship of their parents apart. If you're not a Ferrel fan you probably won't enjoy this outing but I think the humor will translate well to anyone that's had a sibling rivalry of any kind. There's too many moments in this movie that I'm sure one of them will have your side splitting! (Or if you hate Ferrell, maybe this movie will just make your head split.) 7/10
PINEAPPLE EXPRESS: Seth Rogen might as well be given a crown because he's, in my opinion, the new king of Comedy in Hollywood. After re-inventing coming-of-age comedies with the super-hit Superbad. This summer he re-invents stoner comedy with Pineapple Express. Rogen plays Dale Denton, a Prosess Server who has an affinity for his job, and for smoking weed. Having a hoot before handing a subpoena over to someone he witnesses the person in question commit a murder with a crooked cop. Startled and sure that he's good as dead, he immediately runs, stopping to make sure his Drug Dealer is with him and together they embark on a journey that well, you pretty much need to be stoned to believe. The movie is hilarious and I only give it a 7/10 because I thought it was as good as Step-Brothers but If it's better for any reason. It's for the scene at the end with the Belt Buckle and The Duct Tape and you'll know what I mean when you see it. 7/10 if you like Will Ferrel 8/10 if you like weed more.
The Summer hasn't been all movies though. Well, It for the most part has. I did get my hands on Madden NFL 09, after waiting in Wal-Mart for over an hour due to employee ineptitude (That's how badly I wanted the game) I have to say that without a doubt, Madden is back baby! The presentation is off the hook and the game actually has announcers this year so you're not stuck listening to that boring nameless radio guy. They've got real NFL commenators Tom Hammond and Chris Collinsworth.
The graphics are a step up from last years verson, and a complete overhaul of tackling cinematics ensures that your gameplay experience won't be so linear. Gone are the days when the players on the field would just kind of un-realistically bump into each other. Now they'll group tackle, hop over diving tacklers, drag you down by the uniform. The Audio quality is no slouch either, if you got that TV turned up loud enough you might just believe that those bone crunching hits are happening to you.
The Superstar mode, yet again, misses the mark. I hope they get rid of it in next years version for something a bit more interesting. The Superstar Mode is a good idea, except that every year they seem to get further and further away from anything about it that's good. While dragging along the nagging problems I have with it. There needs to be a better system for getting a decent stat set for your player off the bat. The drills are faulty and you shouldn't be surprised if your Superstar is a little below average coming into the NFL draft.
Franchise Mode is relatively unchanged from last years game which is a good thing. The improvments they have made tot his years madden game. Which includes Touchdown Celebrations (although, if you decide to jump into the end zone fans don't be surprised if your player jumps through them) and a new "Back Track" mode, where Chris Collinsworth will show you in an instant replay where you wen't wrong, and what you could've done to make that play a bit better. It's kind of cool but it gets annoying seeing your horrible mistakes over and over again. And the Commentators, although cool, aren't given a whole lot to say and even after playing a few games its really difficult not to notice how little those guys are given to say as you hear things over and over and over again. Overall, if you passed on Madden now is the perfect chance to jump back on board. If you're a sports gamer, they've made it worth your while this year.
I've got nothing else to really talk about. I hope that September is a much more opinionated month for me and judging how August is ending, I think it might go that way, especially if smarmy Stephen Harper calls an election.
Stephen Harper, you're smarmy and I don't like you! Why don't you move to America since you love them so much! (and they obviously, love you or you probably wouldn't be Prime Minister) Okay I'm getting distracted again, it's time to go
- PEACE!
Stephen Harper, you're smarmy and I don't like you.
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
Here in Canada, we keep a watchful eye on the United States Presidential Race, Barack Obama and John McCaine are spearheading a wind of change into America (well, at least one of the candidates promises to do so...) and up here in Canada we are ever patient, waiting to see how events unfold for our neighbors to the south. The glow that Barack has enraptured the majority of the citizens of the united states in shines so vibrant that I am noticing it even so far up north where I live.
And I've got to say... I feel a little left out.
There is an impending election on the horaison for Canadians as well, and it may happen a lot sooner than you think (or even expect). Stephen Harper promised Canadians, after the passing of a bill, that the next election would take place on October 19, 2009. Since then, there has been political tug-of-war between the Liberals and the Conservatives, Liberals announcing the very flawed carbon tax plan and then the Conservatives launching a smear campaign so assanine it makes anything Hillary Clinton attempted to do to Barack Obama look like elementary school name calling.
Since Stephen Harper would have us believe that the parliament hill is currently in a severe state of 'dysfunction' and the only way to irradiate the problem is to hold an election. This is just another one of his Conservatives tactics akin that to bullying on the playground. All year long they have been playing this game with the Liberals and the other political parties. In the minority government, some bills are so serious that any dispute amoung them could have shot the country into an immediate election. The liberals fold to the threat of impending election and instead of disputing some bills they simply allow them to be passed, one bill after another, thanks to the threat of immediate election. The Conservatives have used aggresive tactics to get what they want out of our country and they are doing it again.
Do you want to know why your parliament is in a dysfunctive state? It's because YOUR COUNTRY DOES NOT SUPPORT YOU! You are in a minority government because you failed to make yourself look good enough in the last impromptu election our country had, barely better than your competition to squease into a minority government. When you speak publicly, you sound like a buisness executive. Making a statement that you just finished rehursing moments before, speaking with the diction and annunciation of a robot, and having the demeanor of one as well. You don't inspire confidence in me. Your too anxious to gain the approval of the United States, and you are turning us into a nation closely resembling them. Hardly the country that we had when you took control, a nation that I was proud to live in. I do not have that pride any longer.
Despite Stephen Harpers various ineptitudes and inabilities to give off the image of a politician that is anything except a faceless suit. Stephane Dion is no white knight. The Conservatives have been attacking him full force since the introduction of his moronic carbon tax idea. Stephane Dion and his Liberals are a party that is abash with cowardice. They are so backed into a corner that they aren't even attempting to play the political game. Whenever I see Stephane Dion on television he's babbling, he's incoherent, he seem's unfocused and he seems desperate. He looks like a child, wrongfull acused, and all he can do is state his case to deaf ears in a tone only a six year old can replicate.
If the Liberals are so desperate, why don't they make a desperate action? If Stephane Dion came out and pointed the finger at harper, told the nation that Stephen Harper's plans are not in the best interest of Canadians (because they arent, and Stephane Dion's aren't either, at least not his tax plans) and that Canadians deserve a Prime Minister who will take into account, the interests of its citizens and the interests of its nation, and not its bordering ones. If Stephane Dion could pull this off with a modicum of confidence and poise, instead of coming across as a child with the blame wrongfully placed upon him. Maybe Canadians would believe in him.
Maybe I would beleive in him.
Barack Obama gives America someone to believe in. He's a strongly spoken politician with a natural charisma and unmistakable poise. I don't know how any american citizen can watch him speak and not be impressed with how he handles himself. I remain pessimistic that he can actually pull off winning the Presidential Election, but my worth-fuck-all vote is for him. I just wish that Canada had a politician with the brass that Obama has. He's fearless on the podium, saying what needs to be said. He hit the nail on the head in his speech about race, and he hit it on the head when he gave his speech accepting the Democratic Nomination. He is a politician that I don't feel bad supporting, if I was american I would be voting for him.
Instead, I just have to shake my head and sigh because I don't want to vote for anybody. Dion or Harper. Not Jack Layton of the NDP. He's too quiet on the front and the NDP has such a negative stigma that alone will probably kill any heat he'll generate for the electon, which means he's pretty much got no shot (short of a miracle that is...) of becoming Prime Minister. Which kind of sucks because I think he is the best qualified person for the job. But between Layton, Harper and Dion. I still wish we could somehow go back in time, and grab Jean Cretine to whip this nation back into shape. Say what you will about him, he was a leader who spoke with unmistakable confidence and he believed in Canada.
I just want a Barack Obama to believe in.
Until next time, think about the world we live in for a bit. Ignorance just perpetrates the problem that got us to this point.
Here in Canada, we keep a watchful eye on the United States Presidential Race, Barack Obama and John McCaine are spearheading a wind of change into America (well, at least one of the candidates promises to do so...) and up here in Canada we are ever patient, waiting to see how events unfold for our neighbors to the south. The glow that Barack has enraptured the majority of the citizens of the united states in shines so vibrant that I am noticing it even so far up north where I live.
And I've got to say... I feel a little left out.
There is an impending election on the horaison for Canadians as well, and it may happen a lot sooner than you think (or even expect). Stephen Harper promised Canadians, after the passing of a bill, that the next election would take place on October 19, 2009. Since then, there has been political tug-of-war between the Liberals and the Conservatives, Liberals announcing the very flawed carbon tax plan and then the Conservatives launching a smear campaign so assanine it makes anything Hillary Clinton attempted to do to Barack Obama look like elementary school name calling.
Since Stephen Harper would have us believe that the parliament hill is currently in a severe state of 'dysfunction' and the only way to irradiate the problem is to hold an election. This is just another one of his Conservatives tactics akin that to bullying on the playground. All year long they have been playing this game with the Liberals and the other political parties. In the minority government, some bills are so serious that any dispute amoung them could have shot the country into an immediate election. The liberals fold to the threat of impending election and instead of disputing some bills they simply allow them to be passed, one bill after another, thanks to the threat of immediate election. The Conservatives have used aggresive tactics to get what they want out of our country and they are doing it again.
Do you want to know why your parliament is in a dysfunctive state? It's because YOUR COUNTRY DOES NOT SUPPORT YOU! You are in a minority government because you failed to make yourself look good enough in the last impromptu election our country had, barely better than your competition to squease into a minority government. When you speak publicly, you sound like a buisness executive. Making a statement that you just finished rehursing moments before, speaking with the diction and annunciation of a robot, and having the demeanor of one as well. You don't inspire confidence in me. Your too anxious to gain the approval of the United States, and you are turning us into a nation closely resembling them. Hardly the country that we had when you took control, a nation that I was proud to live in. I do not have that pride any longer.
Despite Stephen Harpers various ineptitudes and inabilities to give off the image of a politician that is anything except a faceless suit. Stephane Dion is no white knight. The Conservatives have been attacking him full force since the introduction of his moronic carbon tax idea. Stephane Dion and his Liberals are a party that is abash with cowardice. They are so backed into a corner that they aren't even attempting to play the political game. Whenever I see Stephane Dion on television he's babbling, he's incoherent, he seem's unfocused and he seems desperate. He looks like a child, wrongfull acused, and all he can do is state his case to deaf ears in a tone only a six year old can replicate.
If the Liberals are so desperate, why don't they make a desperate action? If Stephane Dion came out and pointed the finger at harper, told the nation that Stephen Harper's plans are not in the best interest of Canadians (because they arent, and Stephane Dion's aren't either, at least not his tax plans) and that Canadians deserve a Prime Minister who will take into account, the interests of its citizens and the interests of its nation, and not its bordering ones. If Stephane Dion could pull this off with a modicum of confidence and poise, instead of coming across as a child with the blame wrongfully placed upon him. Maybe Canadians would believe in him.
Maybe I would beleive in him.
Barack Obama gives America someone to believe in. He's a strongly spoken politician with a natural charisma and unmistakable poise. I don't know how any american citizen can watch him speak and not be impressed with how he handles himself. I remain pessimistic that he can actually pull off winning the Presidential Election, but my worth-fuck-all vote is for him. I just wish that Canada had a politician with the brass that Obama has. He's fearless on the podium, saying what needs to be said. He hit the nail on the head in his speech about race, and he hit it on the head when he gave his speech accepting the Democratic Nomination. He is a politician that I don't feel bad supporting, if I was american I would be voting for him.
Instead, I just have to shake my head and sigh because I don't want to vote for anybody. Dion or Harper. Not Jack Layton of the NDP. He's too quiet on the front and the NDP has such a negative stigma that alone will probably kill any heat he'll generate for the electon, which means he's pretty much got no shot (short of a miracle that is...) of becoming Prime Minister. Which kind of sucks because I think he is the best qualified person for the job. But between Layton, Harper and Dion. I still wish we could somehow go back in time, and grab Jean Cretine to whip this nation back into shape. Say what you will about him, he was a leader who spoke with unmistakable confidence and he believed in Canada.
I just want a Barack Obama to believe in.
Until next time, think about the world we live in for a bit. Ignorance just perpetrates the problem that got us to this point.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Madden NFL Football and Dark Knights
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
I've cashed U.S. checks at my local bank many times. One of my aunts lives in the United States and even though I'm ever-so-close of the very adult age of twenty-one, she still likes to spoil me a bit as she always has throughout my life. She usually sends money as a gift as I usually ask for things that are exuberant and difficult to ship over the border now a days. Sending money is typically the much more convenient option. Today however the option was rather inconvenient. The teller of my bank must've been a newer employee and I undserstand if things happen. I wasn't worried one way or the other but to suddenly have to jump through so many hoops where there were otherwise none before just strikes me as odd. A twenty day hold for forty dollars?
Hardly seems worth the effort doesn't it?
I'm really, really looking forward to Madden NFL 09. As a gamer, I'm in the minority when I say that Sports games are my genre preference. I was never very athletic as a child and got into watching sports as a way to still feel like I'm a part of the action. Sports fandom is a unique paradox to me, people can become so rabid for something bigger than themselves...
It's like organized religion except you don't get shit on for trying to push it on to other people...
As gaming consoles entered the next generation, and hockey games became increasingly monotonous and well, bad. I turned my attention to a sport which its video games were experiencing a sudden leap in quality with this sudden leap in technology: Football games.
Madden NFL 2000 for the N64 was my first exposure to what is now a collosal gaming franchise. Over the years as the games got better and the technology expanded my love for Football games grew. Growing up in Canada with the eight team CFL. Football is kind of like a cheap novelty compared to Hockey which might as well be organized religion up here. The team I chose to back: The Cleveland Browns. Expanded in 2000 the year I bought the game, I have rode them to most certain failiure but that's an entire other days rant I'm sure.
Madden has always had an excellent atmosphere in its games and they're incredibly addicting if thats your thing. I love the bone crunching hits and the utter elation you feel when your offence bends that defence over for a huge gain or a huge touchdown. Madden NFL 09 will be my first foray into "next-gen" sports gaming, as I have reverted back to Hockey in recent years. This years Madden is easily shaping up to be their best offering. You know what they say about the third time being the charm. I think it's taken 3 years for EA to get Madden going on the 360, which is kind of rediculous considering where the game was at on Xbox. Pretty much at the top of its form with a few nit picks here and there.
One more month and it will be mine, and I will savor it!
I eagerly await The Dark Knight! Five more days until I get to watch it. There is an incredible ammount of buzz around Heath Ledgers portrayal of The Joker. I've read critics compare his portrayal of the Clown Prince of Crime to that of Anthony Hopkin's Hannible Lector. That's pretty much good enough for me. The Rolling Stone's review of the movie was titled "Prepare to be Wowed" and I have yet to hear anything especially scathing about the movie, aside from some peoples deviance towards the movies running time which is just excess of two and a half hours. The movie is only fifteen minutes longer than Batman Begins and I'm sure it will be a superior film experience. I cant wait!
Hopefully next time I'll have a little more venomous a topic to persue but in the mean time I hope everyone has a good week and is enjoying their July thus far.
Thug life!
I've cashed U.S. checks at my local bank many times. One of my aunts lives in the United States and even though I'm ever-so-close of the very adult age of twenty-one, she still likes to spoil me a bit as she always has throughout my life. She usually sends money as a gift as I usually ask for things that are exuberant and difficult to ship over the border now a days. Sending money is typically the much more convenient option. Today however the option was rather inconvenient. The teller of my bank must've been a newer employee and I undserstand if things happen. I wasn't worried one way or the other but to suddenly have to jump through so many hoops where there were otherwise none before just strikes me as odd. A twenty day hold for forty dollars?
Hardly seems worth the effort doesn't it?
I'm really, really looking forward to Madden NFL 09. As a gamer, I'm in the minority when I say that Sports games are my genre preference. I was never very athletic as a child and got into watching sports as a way to still feel like I'm a part of the action. Sports fandom is a unique paradox to me, people can become so rabid for something bigger than themselves...
It's like organized religion except you don't get shit on for trying to push it on to other people...
As gaming consoles entered the next generation, and hockey games became increasingly monotonous and well, bad. I turned my attention to a sport which its video games were experiencing a sudden leap in quality with this sudden leap in technology: Football games.
Madden NFL 2000 for the N64 was my first exposure to what is now a collosal gaming franchise. Over the years as the games got better and the technology expanded my love for Football games grew. Growing up in Canada with the eight team CFL. Football is kind of like a cheap novelty compared to Hockey which might as well be organized religion up here. The team I chose to back: The Cleveland Browns. Expanded in 2000 the year I bought the game, I have rode them to most certain failiure but that's an entire other days rant I'm sure.
Madden has always had an excellent atmosphere in its games and they're incredibly addicting if thats your thing. I love the bone crunching hits and the utter elation you feel when your offence bends that defence over for a huge gain or a huge touchdown. Madden NFL 09 will be my first foray into "next-gen" sports gaming, as I have reverted back to Hockey in recent years. This years Madden is easily shaping up to be their best offering. You know what they say about the third time being the charm. I think it's taken 3 years for EA to get Madden going on the 360, which is kind of rediculous considering where the game was at on Xbox. Pretty much at the top of its form with a few nit picks here and there.
One more month and it will be mine, and I will savor it!
I eagerly await The Dark Knight! Five more days until I get to watch it. There is an incredible ammount of buzz around Heath Ledgers portrayal of The Joker. I've read critics compare his portrayal of the Clown Prince of Crime to that of Anthony Hopkin's Hannible Lector. That's pretty much good enough for me. The Rolling Stone's review of the movie was titled "Prepare to be Wowed" and I have yet to hear anything especially scathing about the movie, aside from some peoples deviance towards the movies running time which is just excess of two and a half hours. The movie is only fifteen minutes longer than Batman Begins and I'm sure it will be a superior film experience. I cant wait!
Hopefully next time I'll have a little more venomous a topic to persue but in the mean time I hope everyone has a good week and is enjoying their July thus far.
Thug life!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
In the mind of madness
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
Lots of random thoughts so let's try to keep this cohesive, start out on a somber note.
Comic Book Artist Michael Turner passed away this past week from his battle with the bone-based cancer chondrosarcoma. He wasn't my favorite artist but his mark was obvious on the comic industry. He drew a six issue story-arc of Superman/Batman, "Supergirl from Krypton" which was easily my favorite arc of the book. He drew a slew of covers for both DC and Marvel before his passing. He was also announced to pencil the upcoming "Ultimate Wolverine" comic which would've been an off the chart hit, easily. Rest in peace Michael.
There's a lot of push on the Anti-Smoking. Alberta's passing a law that will make it illegal to have large cigarette displays, they will need to be removed or covered up. I'm not exactly sure if this is the same as B.C. where all of it has to be covered up but its still a push in the direction that anyone who's smokin' while they got 'em will be out of luck soon. I heard a rumor they're thinking about making single cigarillo's illegal because they don't have anti-smoking propaganda on them. That's alright with me, I'll just end up finally quitting if that happens and thats what they want right?
I don't understand lottery players. They spend so much money on the hope that they'll win the big one and then they're so down on their luck because the odds aren't on their side. I'm sorry this is a bigger rant for a more focused day but shut the fuck up. Maybe spend your money on something more self-fufilling than an effortless search for wealth.
My friend was recently in a traffic accident. Turning off of the main highway a motorcyclist travelling well over the speed limit struck him. Weaving in and out of traffic in his persuit for stardom (maybe he had a hot date, something clearly he was in a rush for that is very insignificant now) struck his truck and was carried away from the scene in an ambulance. His truck will need repair which is a harsh afteraffect of an accident of carelessness. I hope that the situation resolves itself, you will definately hear from me if it doesn't.
I dont see how the priorities of this nation can be so out of the loop, I read a very interesting article in the Edmonton Sun about the status of water consumption in our country. We pay the least ammount of money for water out of all the established nations of the world. And we are only second to the United States in water consumption. I know I'm not a world changer but I do think we should be more mindful of our water consumption. Over half of our water consumption goes to laundry and watering the lawns with '5-minute showers' placing third, (So what about everyone who takes showers that are longer than five minutes. Of which I know I'm certainly guilty)
The hooplah of Bill C-51 hit my doorstep and paranoia crept up my spine like a dirty relative and I'm kind of surprised that something like this has completely missed the media. If it's really such a big deal how come people aren't writing letters to newspapers? I haven't seen anything but I don't read every paper either, I'm only as much of an all-seeing eye as I feel like and I'm pretty damn lazy at times. The website that was provided to me is set up in such a way that it draws you toward the conclusion of absolute terror when that isn't the case at all. Taking the time to read the bill is always the best course of action and something I did not initially do. It's long, it's legal, it's boring. Anyone who took Law class in high school can empathise with this boredom but its not as big a shit storm as you'd think. The bill is aimed at punishing corporations who break the laws, why else would such hefty fines of around five million dollars be levvied out.
I just want to post this blurb they've posted on the website
Bill C-51 is not about Canadian Safety
Bill C-51 is about Big Pharma
Pharma-what? Big Pharmaceutical company's? My point about the website is that it's designed to propagate fear of the bill from the get-go. You are bombared by 'facts' so that anyone who just causally reads the website without taking the time to read the bill would just simply assume that they themselves are havign the latex glove of the man thrust into their anus once again. I'm just kind of unsure what to think of the whole thing but if this bill was as bad as they would like us to think than I think more than a good chunk of tens of thousands people would be worried about it... maybe more in the millions? We all know I'm not the biggest fan of Health Canada at the moment but they wouldn't be smashing their boner through shit like this would they?
Maybe they would... Anyway, Here's Bill C-51. Have a read for yourself and come to your own conclusion.
Let's end this on a bit of a giddy note. I read on Newsarama.com today that there will be a Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2. Given the scope of the game as early rumor dictates that it will be focused around Marvel's recent "Civil War" storyline. Offering gamers a chance to pick a side and play it out. Civil War was the highest selling marvel comic in quite some time and the idea to base a game around it is a very good one. I hope they take the time to do it right. Marvel: Ultimate Alliance didn't really have too much re-play value, but they are incredibly fun games. Another thought, maybe a name change. Marvel: Civil War? Would that not suffice for a video game?
WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?
MARVE: CIVIL WAR
Xbox360/PS3/Wii 2010(or later)
Take a couple years to make the game and make it right! Ultimate Alliance was a step down from X-Men Legends 2 and thats not how it should be. It should have a huge roster of playable heroes. At least 15 a side I'd say to give the game solid replay value because playing the war on the side of pro-registration or anti-registration one time, then the reverse is obviously worth two plays through the game as it should be completely different experiences.
Who knows how it will work out but I've got high hopes. Also revealed was that in the upcoming Spider-Man: Web of Shadows game that you could help save the city or take it over depending on if you're using the classic Spidey Red/Blues or the Black simbyote costume. They also revealed that Wolverine would be a character you'll have the opportunity to team up with (they announced earlier that Luke Cage would be) the cover of the game can be viewed here. Spider-Man: Web of Shadows is due out this fall.
Until next time, Keep on truckin!
PEACE!
Lots of random thoughts so let's try to keep this cohesive, start out on a somber note.
Comic Book Artist Michael Turner passed away this past week from his battle with the bone-based cancer chondrosarcoma. He wasn't my favorite artist but his mark was obvious on the comic industry. He drew a six issue story-arc of Superman/Batman, "Supergirl from Krypton" which was easily my favorite arc of the book. He drew a slew of covers for both DC and Marvel before his passing. He was also announced to pencil the upcoming "Ultimate Wolverine" comic which would've been an off the chart hit, easily. Rest in peace Michael.
There's a lot of push on the Anti-Smoking. Alberta's passing a law that will make it illegal to have large cigarette displays, they will need to be removed or covered up. I'm not exactly sure if this is the same as B.C. where all of it has to be covered up but its still a push in the direction that anyone who's smokin' while they got 'em will be out of luck soon. I heard a rumor they're thinking about making single cigarillo's illegal because they don't have anti-smoking propaganda on them. That's alright with me, I'll just end up finally quitting if that happens and thats what they want right?
I don't understand lottery players. They spend so much money on the hope that they'll win the big one and then they're so down on their luck because the odds aren't on their side. I'm sorry this is a bigger rant for a more focused day but shut the fuck up. Maybe spend your money on something more self-fufilling than an effortless search for wealth.
My friend was recently in a traffic accident. Turning off of the main highway a motorcyclist travelling well over the speed limit struck him. Weaving in and out of traffic in his persuit for stardom (maybe he had a hot date, something clearly he was in a rush for that is very insignificant now) struck his truck and was carried away from the scene in an ambulance. His truck will need repair which is a harsh afteraffect of an accident of carelessness. I hope that the situation resolves itself, you will definately hear from me if it doesn't.
I dont see how the priorities of this nation can be so out of the loop, I read a very interesting article in the Edmonton Sun about the status of water consumption in our country. We pay the least ammount of money for water out of all the established nations of the world. And we are only second to the United States in water consumption. I know I'm not a world changer but I do think we should be more mindful of our water consumption. Over half of our water consumption goes to laundry and watering the lawns with '5-minute showers' placing third, (So what about everyone who takes showers that are longer than five minutes. Of which I know I'm certainly guilty)
The hooplah of Bill C-51 hit my doorstep and paranoia crept up my spine like a dirty relative and I'm kind of surprised that something like this has completely missed the media. If it's really such a big deal how come people aren't writing letters to newspapers? I haven't seen anything but I don't read every paper either, I'm only as much of an all-seeing eye as I feel like and I'm pretty damn lazy at times. The website that was provided to me is set up in such a way that it draws you toward the conclusion of absolute terror when that isn't the case at all. Taking the time to read the bill is always the best course of action and something I did not initially do. It's long, it's legal, it's boring. Anyone who took Law class in high school can empathise with this boredom but its not as big a shit storm as you'd think. The bill is aimed at punishing corporations who break the laws, why else would such hefty fines of around five million dollars be levvied out.
I just want to post this blurb they've posted on the website
Bill C-51 is not about Canadian Safety
Bill C-51 is about Big Pharma
Pharma-what? Big Pharmaceutical company's? My point about the website is that it's designed to propagate fear of the bill from the get-go. You are bombared by 'facts' so that anyone who just causally reads the website without taking the time to read the bill would just simply assume that they themselves are havign the latex glove of the man thrust into their anus once again. I'm just kind of unsure what to think of the whole thing but if this bill was as bad as they would like us to think than I think more than a good chunk of tens of thousands people would be worried about it... maybe more in the millions? We all know I'm not the biggest fan of Health Canada at the moment but they wouldn't be smashing their boner through shit like this would they?
Maybe they would... Anyway, Here's Bill C-51. Have a read for yourself and come to your own conclusion.
Let's end this on a bit of a giddy note. I read on Newsarama.com today that there will be a Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2. Given the scope of the game as early rumor dictates that it will be focused around Marvel's recent "Civil War" storyline. Offering gamers a chance to pick a side and play it out. Civil War was the highest selling marvel comic in quite some time and the idea to base a game around it is a very good one. I hope they take the time to do it right. Marvel: Ultimate Alliance didn't really have too much re-play value, but they are incredibly fun games. Another thought, maybe a name change. Marvel: Civil War? Would that not suffice for a video game?
WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?
MARVE: CIVIL WAR
Xbox360/PS3/Wii 2010(or later)
Take a couple years to make the game and make it right! Ultimate Alliance was a step down from X-Men Legends 2 and thats not how it should be. It should have a huge roster of playable heroes. At least 15 a side I'd say to give the game solid replay value because playing the war on the side of pro-registration or anti-registration one time, then the reverse is obviously worth two plays through the game as it should be completely different experiences.
Who knows how it will work out but I've got high hopes. Also revealed was that in the upcoming Spider-Man: Web of Shadows game that you could help save the city or take it over depending on if you're using the classic Spidey Red/Blues or the Black simbyote costume. They also revealed that Wolverine would be a character you'll have the opportunity to team up with (they announced earlier that Luke Cage would be) the cover of the game can be viewed here. Spider-Man: Web of Shadows is due out this fall.
Until next time, Keep on truckin!
PEACE!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Who's this guitar hero?
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
There's something that I don't get: People who don't get video games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band.
I can understand easily enough. I myself used to come to a lack of understanding as to why games like Dance Dance Revolution have legions of players. It was a simplistic game that I couldn't grasp for the life of me. You listened to the song and arrows would come down the screen. All you had to do was step on the pad corresponding with the arrow on the screen at the right time and bam, all of a sudden you're dancing?
I've seen dancing. Good, and bad, and DDR doesn't even come close. To each their own I suppose. I also never quite saw the luster in first-person shooter's either.
If you've by some chance been living under a rock for the past five years, a game came onto the scene for the PlayStation 2 in 2005 that would change the foray of the music gaming genre forever. Guitar Hero. Unique for the guitar-like controller that simulated the 'experience' of playing a guitar. Five corresponding buttons to match on the screen, strum bar to hit the notes on time and a whammy bar to funk out those long notes. The game featured song's by Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath, Cream, Deep Purple. A good blend of rock staples and indy tracks, the game was a commercial and critical success.
Guitar Hero 2 was relased in 06 for the PS2 and early 07 for the Xbox 360 and it was here when my first experience to the game was held. I always had wanted to try it. I find myself frequently air-guitaring when I'm in isolation, or whenever the mood hits me really. I was excited to try this game that now most people had been telling me about.
"Have you tried Guitar Hero yet?"
"No..."
"Oh man it's so awesome...." and they would go on to tell me about how they rock out on this video game. Not an indecent proposal, I'd say thats about all I could ask for from a video game experience.
I selected a track i recognized, Carry On My Wayward Son. The song began and the buttons came down the screen. I immediately paniced as I had no preference as to where my fingers should be and I failed. Feeling embarassed I angrily passed the controller on, agravated. I was not willing to try the game again and didn't for weeks. What was I expecting, I honestly can't say, but I was drawn back to the game. Multi-player modes that were impossible to fail was my gateway into the game, slowly I got the game down.
Over time, medium difficulty was effortless and I found myself to be somewhat god-like. This was when my friends urged me to step it up, try the hard difficulty like they were. Again, the learning curve kicked in and what started ugly eventually bloomed to where I am now, I wouldn't hesitate to call myself a veteran 'hero'. I've logged more than enough hours on that game.
Then something was announced that made me explode of joy. Rock Band: Guitar, Vocals and Drums. Playing awesome songs, rocking out on world tour, creating your own band and rockers. They seemed to have it all figured out.
This was purchaced by my friend immediately and created our band. BUDDY CHRIST(Drummer) and CAPS LOCK(Guitarist/me) had created the ultimate rock band: The True Heroes. We began to rock, hard and it was no time before we disabled the drum kit to the game. We couldn't have been rocking for more than a week before you couldn't hit the blue drum without disconnecting the drums from the console, lovely.
So now we were reduced to two-guitar rock, (as it would be some time before alcohol was introduced to the whole package and I remembered that I didn't mind singing with a little liquid courage) and The Stylish Moustache was born (the game randomly generates band names for you, which you can chose to use or create your own. In this instance we went with the games judgement.) The Menace and Hollywood joined forces to make a guitar force of rock. The Stylish Moustach rocked it's way all the way to a jumbo jet! More time invested into Rock Band than I think we put into Guitar Hero (but I'm sure the scale's pretty balanced overall...) I'm completely, 100% sold on this Guitar Hero and am in fact one of it's biggest supporters.
I find myself in the midst of listening to any song my Megadeth and find my arms doing the guitar without me even realizing. Practically reflex to unleash the air-guitar and here's a game that gives me that same feeling, maybe more so. People come up to me and say
"Bryce, I don't understand this fascination with Guitar Hero".
I ask them, "You ever find yourself randomly air guitaring to music?"
"No"
Well there you go. Guitar Hero and Rock Band give musically retarded people like me the ability to feel like a rock god. There's nothing quite like stepping up to the plate and rocking the hell out of a song. Rock Band has it's flaws, it's ruined my favorite Weezer and Nirvana songs pretty much forever but I'll forgive it. The additional content to the game is modestly priced (Between 100-160 xbox points per song) and there's a lot to choose from, with full albums from Judas Preist, The Cars and The Greatful Dead as well as a large selection of packs that give you choice from a range of bands in all the genre's of rock there's pretty much something for everyone.
Nay sayers can continue to complain, talk about the price of the games or whatever specific thing they chose to dislike 'why do I have to use some fake guitar, why cant I use the controller?' or 'why don't you just go out and play a real instrument'. They're not going to slow down something that will probably just grow to get more and more gamers as they continue to saturate the market.
'why don't you just go out and play a real instrument?'. That's probably the only valid argument to the game there is. I know I don't have the patience to learn guitar.
Until next time, let your inner guitar hero or rock god out and kick some ass!
Peace
There's something that I don't get: People who don't get video games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band.
I can understand easily enough. I myself used to come to a lack of understanding as to why games like Dance Dance Revolution have legions of players. It was a simplistic game that I couldn't grasp for the life of me. You listened to the song and arrows would come down the screen. All you had to do was step on the pad corresponding with the arrow on the screen at the right time and bam, all of a sudden you're dancing?
I've seen dancing. Good, and bad, and DDR doesn't even come close. To each their own I suppose. I also never quite saw the luster in first-person shooter's either.
If you've by some chance been living under a rock for the past five years, a game came onto the scene for the PlayStation 2 in 2005 that would change the foray of the music gaming genre forever. Guitar Hero. Unique for the guitar-like controller that simulated the 'experience' of playing a guitar. Five corresponding buttons to match on the screen, strum bar to hit the notes on time and a whammy bar to funk out those long notes. The game featured song's by Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath, Cream, Deep Purple. A good blend of rock staples and indy tracks, the game was a commercial and critical success.
Guitar Hero 2 was relased in 06 for the PS2 and early 07 for the Xbox 360 and it was here when my first experience to the game was held. I always had wanted to try it. I find myself frequently air-guitaring when I'm in isolation, or whenever the mood hits me really. I was excited to try this game that now most people had been telling me about.
"Have you tried Guitar Hero yet?"
"No..."
"Oh man it's so awesome...." and they would go on to tell me about how they rock out on this video game. Not an indecent proposal, I'd say thats about all I could ask for from a video game experience.
I selected a track i recognized, Carry On My Wayward Son. The song began and the buttons came down the screen. I immediately paniced as I had no preference as to where my fingers should be and I failed. Feeling embarassed I angrily passed the controller on, agravated. I was not willing to try the game again and didn't for weeks. What was I expecting, I honestly can't say, but I was drawn back to the game. Multi-player modes that were impossible to fail was my gateway into the game, slowly I got the game down.
Over time, medium difficulty was effortless and I found myself to be somewhat god-like. This was when my friends urged me to step it up, try the hard difficulty like they were. Again, the learning curve kicked in and what started ugly eventually bloomed to where I am now, I wouldn't hesitate to call myself a veteran 'hero'. I've logged more than enough hours on that game.
Then something was announced that made me explode of joy. Rock Band: Guitar, Vocals and Drums. Playing awesome songs, rocking out on world tour, creating your own band and rockers. They seemed to have it all figured out.
This was purchaced by my friend immediately and created our band. BUDDY CHRIST(Drummer) and CAPS LOCK(Guitarist/me) had created the ultimate rock band: The True Heroes. We began to rock, hard and it was no time before we disabled the drum kit to the game. We couldn't have been rocking for more than a week before you couldn't hit the blue drum without disconnecting the drums from the console, lovely.
So now we were reduced to two-guitar rock, (as it would be some time before alcohol was introduced to the whole package and I remembered that I didn't mind singing with a little liquid courage) and The Stylish Moustache was born (the game randomly generates band names for you, which you can chose to use or create your own. In this instance we went with the games judgement.) The Menace and Hollywood joined forces to make a guitar force of rock. The Stylish Moustach rocked it's way all the way to a jumbo jet! More time invested into Rock Band than I think we put into Guitar Hero (but I'm sure the scale's pretty balanced overall...) I'm completely, 100% sold on this Guitar Hero and am in fact one of it's biggest supporters.
I find myself in the midst of listening to any song my Megadeth and find my arms doing the guitar without me even realizing. Practically reflex to unleash the air-guitar and here's a game that gives me that same feeling, maybe more so. People come up to me and say
"Bryce, I don't understand this fascination with Guitar Hero".
I ask them, "You ever find yourself randomly air guitaring to music?"
"No"
Well there you go. Guitar Hero and Rock Band give musically retarded people like me the ability to feel like a rock god. There's nothing quite like stepping up to the plate and rocking the hell out of a song. Rock Band has it's flaws, it's ruined my favorite Weezer and Nirvana songs pretty much forever but I'll forgive it. The additional content to the game is modestly priced (Between 100-160 xbox points per song) and there's a lot to choose from, with full albums from Judas Preist, The Cars and The Greatful Dead as well as a large selection of packs that give you choice from a range of bands in all the genre's of rock there's pretty much something for everyone.
Nay sayers can continue to complain, talk about the price of the games or whatever specific thing they chose to dislike 'why do I have to use some fake guitar, why cant I use the controller?' or 'why don't you just go out and play a real instrument'. They're not going to slow down something that will probably just grow to get more and more gamers as they continue to saturate the market.
'why don't you just go out and play a real instrument?'. That's probably the only valid argument to the game there is. I know I don't have the patience to learn guitar.
Until next time, let your inner guitar hero or rock god out and kick some ass!
Peace
Monday, June 23, 2008
He wasn't just funny. He was fucking funny!
George Carlin was a man who loved to curse. The vulgarity of it intrigued him you could hear it in his voice whenever he said fuck, or shit, or anything that would fearlessly come from his lips with conviction, confidence. He was truly a fearless comedian, one of the greatest who will have ever lived. He was even fearless regardless of any topic, nothing was out of touch of George's idealistic vision of reality. I think it was his ability to analyze people, and fearlessly assess the situation with hilarity will be the reason he will be remembered for a long time.
Few comedian's have the presence that Carlin had when he was on the stage. His voice was enchanting and he looked like the crotchety old man, working that to his advantage. Age didn't stint his comedy if anything it became more verbose in it's topic matter, more in your face with language. He never hesitated to speak his mind and it was always funny. Speaking not only the truth but speaking it with such relentlessness that you laughed not just because it was outrageous. It was funny, truly funny but because it was the stone cold truth. He's as perceptive as anybody and he used that to his advantage.
His Comedy was definitely the epicenter of his fame. In the 60's Carlin was most notable on The Ed Sullivan show. Releasing his first comedy album, Take-ff's and Put-On's. During this period his popularity emerged as he was a frequent guest on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. In the 70's George created the routine that would make him a sensation. The "Seven words you can never say on television" skit was on his third album, Class Clown and it was this where he would propell himself to the next level.
Making his own road, George sported long hair and a full robust beard, an appearance that was uncharacteristic with the clean cut commedians of the era. He was arrested in 1972 for performing the act and violated obscenity laws. Controversy from this would only propel his fame. In 1976 George unexpectedly stopped doing stand-up shows, and for a period of the next five years he rarely did shows despite that he was doing HBO Specials it was around this period he suffered the first of three non-fatal heart attacks during his life.
In the 80's Carlin re-established himself with a plethora of HBO Specials, also garnering some fame. In 1989, he would play the aforementioned roll of Rufus, the mentor of Bill and Ted during their excellent adventure through time. Throughout the 90's he appeared sporadically througout popular culture as the narritive voice for the American version of Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends. As well as appearing in Prince of Tides in 1991. In 1995 he got his own television show on Fox titled simply, The George Carlin Show, it ran for 27 episodes. 1999 would mark his appearance in Dogma as Cardinal Ignatius Glick, the brains behind his new "Catholoscism Wow!" campaign.
In 2001 George was given a Lifetime Acheivment award at the 15th Annual American Comedy Awards. George performed in Las Vegas for many years before he was fired from headlining at the MGM Grand Hotel after an altercation with his audience in the wake of cracking wise about beheadings and suicide bombings. He furthered on to attack Las Vegas in general, he was immediately fired and entered Rehab for drugs and alcohol. In 2006 he would voice Fillmore in Cars. His last HBO Special, titled "It's Bad For You" aired March 1st 2008.
He was one of my favorite commedians and he will be surely missed. I will be surprised if we see any comedian of his calibre ever again.
RIP George Carlin May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
Few comedian's have the presence that Carlin had when he was on the stage. His voice was enchanting and he looked like the crotchety old man, working that to his advantage. Age didn't stint his comedy if anything it became more verbose in it's topic matter, more in your face with language. He never hesitated to speak his mind and it was always funny. Speaking not only the truth but speaking it with such relentlessness that you laughed not just because it was outrageous. It was funny, truly funny but because it was the stone cold truth. He's as perceptive as anybody and he used that to his advantage.
His Comedy was definitely the epicenter of his fame. In the 60's Carlin was most notable on The Ed Sullivan show. Releasing his first comedy album, Take-ff's and Put-On's. During this period his popularity emerged as he was a frequent guest on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. In the 70's George created the routine that would make him a sensation. The "Seven words you can never say on television" skit was on his third album, Class Clown and it was this where he would propell himself to the next level.
Making his own road, George sported long hair and a full robust beard, an appearance that was uncharacteristic with the clean cut commedians of the era. He was arrested in 1972 for performing the act and violated obscenity laws. Controversy from this would only propel his fame. In 1976 George unexpectedly stopped doing stand-up shows, and for a period of the next five years he rarely did shows despite that he was doing HBO Specials it was around this period he suffered the first of three non-fatal heart attacks during his life.
In the 80's Carlin re-established himself with a plethora of HBO Specials, also garnering some fame. In 1989, he would play the aforementioned roll of Rufus, the mentor of Bill and Ted during their excellent adventure through time. Throughout the 90's he appeared sporadically througout popular culture as the narritive voice for the American version of Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends. As well as appearing in Prince of Tides in 1991. In 1995 he got his own television show on Fox titled simply, The George Carlin Show, it ran for 27 episodes. 1999 would mark his appearance in Dogma as Cardinal Ignatius Glick, the brains behind his new "Catholoscism Wow!" campaign.
In 2001 George was given a Lifetime Acheivment award at the 15th Annual American Comedy Awards. George performed in Las Vegas for many years before he was fired from headlining at the MGM Grand Hotel after an altercation with his audience in the wake of cracking wise about beheadings and suicide bombings. He furthered on to attack Las Vegas in general, he was immediately fired and entered Rehab for drugs and alcohol. In 2006 he would voice Fillmore in Cars. His last HBO Special, titled "It's Bad For You" aired March 1st 2008.
He was one of my favorite commedians and he will be surely missed. I will be surprised if we see any comedian of his calibre ever again.
RIP George Carlin May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
May The Gaiden Be With You
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
Ninja's may bear different sentimental value to us all, be-it as a deadly assassin, as a silent hunter, as The Batman or a master of deception and trickery, its unanimous that they are one thing: Bad ass. The Ninja is a unique character most of the time shrouded in curious enigma. We often know very little of the ninja, his history or his motives. Be he an evil or good ninja, they're fierce and uncompromising, if anything a true professional.
My personal sentimental value toward Ninja's wasn't very strong until Ninja Gaiden was released for the Xbox back in 2004.
Here's a game that easily stood strong as an example of the Xbox's visual capabilities well after it's release. It was a game that I had not played very much, upon it's release a few of my friends grew captivated by its majesty and I would be lying to say that I too wasn't sucked in as well. The game's atmosphere sucked you in. You were Ryu Hayabusa, a deadly ninja in charge of getting the Dark Dragon Blade from the demonic fiend Doku who has taken it from your village. Gamers may recognise Hayabusa from Team Ninja's Dead or Alive series.
Your ability was robust, you could drop a group of ninja's in a moment if you were skilled enough. If you were tardy, you would die. The game harbored minimal room for failiure and it's difficulty intrigued me. The boss of the game's first chapter plagued me. It must have taken me hour's of trying again and again to defeat him. Now he's nothing but that's not the point, the game rewards effort, you feel powerful as soon as you advance it's like you've unlocked something in yourself. The game was addicting.
Before long, my friend had to return Ninja Gaiden and I was left with this longing inside myself. I've played many 3rd person action/adventure games. Anyone could argue their similarities but few could argue their enjoyment factor and I thought Ninja Gaiden had succeeded where games like Devil May Cry or Soul Reaver had lost me. God of War wasn't exactly my cup of tea either, The Gaiden was where it was at. With the sword (or a slew of other interesting weaponry) in hand you felt like you were more than just a man, and as you would slay demonic creatures and virtual demi-gods you wonder how you got so far.
Few games would last long in a gamer's console for the trial-and-error relapse that Ninja Gaiden puts one through, what makes it different? Is it simply the presentation or is their really no substitute for good gameplay? I was confident that they couldn't improve upon the combat system in Ninja Gaiden 2 and when I read in different magazines that they were focused on improving the experience, knowing full well the combat played a large part of that. I was curious to see what Ninja Gaiden 2 was going to cook up.
Needless to say I got what I expected. The game is a bit more linear as you don't have minimal open-area zone's to roam so much as you are guided through a path. This game brings me back to the old school Shinobi games on Genesis. You run down a corridore and a new mob of Ninja is there waiting to take you down at any means neccesery, even so much as to throwing themselves on you to blow themselves up to hurt you. They mean business. Thanks to the first Gaiden's riggorous training process I felt more than adequately prepared for the challenge that Gaiden 2 posed for me. With ease I cut through the different mobs of ninja.
The game's upped action makes dismemberment much easier. It's not an uncommon occurrence to casually cut off a limb as you're weaving through you're foes. Once you've wounded a foe you can do devistating attacks that will instantly kill a wounded foe. In the new game your power is up but thanfully they've upped the anti.
Enemies are relentlessly hellbent on destroying you. I casually called out to my housemate as I was playing "Hey, watch this." He stumbles over. I'm running along a metal bridge, there's a gap in the bridge but there's a wall nearby that I can run along to get across. As I come towards this, two ninja begin to approach me from the other side. A leap and a dash attack, I land on the ground and the body of my fallen lands behind me, headless. His friend lands beside me and quickly meets a similar pace. He's quick to ask me "Whoa man, what just happened?" Unsure exactly of what just unfolded.
The game is that awesome.
Boss fights are insane, I'm stuck midway through the game and every boss seems to get more and more difficult. It's awesome but I'm only one man and apparently the japanese are far more adept ninja than canadians. Its something I've come to accept but it's not going to stop me from trying, the desire to get to the next stage and take on whatever the game wants to throw at me. It's that constant carnage, the devistation factor. You're so violently potent it's amazing and this is all at a fingertip.
This game has quite a bit more gore and blood than the first ninja gaiden, unruly parents might want to take note of that before they poop a brick because their child is playing this game. The fallen bodies of your foes also remain afterwards so if you're backtracking you'll find that many fell before you... It's kind of creepy in a way.
Overall though, I think any gamer with a 360 who is looking for an uncompromising action experience, this is a must own. Its pretty much exactly what we should have expected.
Until next time, keep your shuriken at the ready.
Peace!
Ninja's may bear different sentimental value to us all, be-it as a deadly assassin, as a silent hunter, as The Batman or a master of deception and trickery, its unanimous that they are one thing: Bad ass. The Ninja is a unique character most of the time shrouded in curious enigma. We often know very little of the ninja, his history or his motives. Be he an evil or good ninja, they're fierce and uncompromising, if anything a true professional.
My personal sentimental value toward Ninja's wasn't very strong until Ninja Gaiden was released for the Xbox back in 2004.
Here's a game that easily stood strong as an example of the Xbox's visual capabilities well after it's release. It was a game that I had not played very much, upon it's release a few of my friends grew captivated by its majesty and I would be lying to say that I too wasn't sucked in as well. The game's atmosphere sucked you in. You were Ryu Hayabusa, a deadly ninja in charge of getting the Dark Dragon Blade from the demonic fiend Doku who has taken it from your village. Gamers may recognise Hayabusa from Team Ninja's Dead or Alive series.
Your ability was robust, you could drop a group of ninja's in a moment if you were skilled enough. If you were tardy, you would die. The game harbored minimal room for failiure and it's difficulty intrigued me. The boss of the game's first chapter plagued me. It must have taken me hour's of trying again and again to defeat him. Now he's nothing but that's not the point, the game rewards effort, you feel powerful as soon as you advance it's like you've unlocked something in yourself. The game was addicting.
Before long, my friend had to return Ninja Gaiden and I was left with this longing inside myself. I've played many 3rd person action/adventure games. Anyone could argue their similarities but few could argue their enjoyment factor and I thought Ninja Gaiden had succeeded where games like Devil May Cry or Soul Reaver had lost me. God of War wasn't exactly my cup of tea either, The Gaiden was where it was at. With the sword (or a slew of other interesting weaponry) in hand you felt like you were more than just a man, and as you would slay demonic creatures and virtual demi-gods you wonder how you got so far.
Few games would last long in a gamer's console for the trial-and-error relapse that Ninja Gaiden puts one through, what makes it different? Is it simply the presentation or is their really no substitute for good gameplay? I was confident that they couldn't improve upon the combat system in Ninja Gaiden 2 and when I read in different magazines that they were focused on improving the experience, knowing full well the combat played a large part of that. I was curious to see what Ninja Gaiden 2 was going to cook up.
Needless to say I got what I expected. The game is a bit more linear as you don't have minimal open-area zone's to roam so much as you are guided through a path. This game brings me back to the old school Shinobi games on Genesis. You run down a corridore and a new mob of Ninja is there waiting to take you down at any means neccesery, even so much as to throwing themselves on you to blow themselves up to hurt you. They mean business. Thanks to the first Gaiden's riggorous training process I felt more than adequately prepared for the challenge that Gaiden 2 posed for me. With ease I cut through the different mobs of ninja.
The game's upped action makes dismemberment much easier. It's not an uncommon occurrence to casually cut off a limb as you're weaving through you're foes. Once you've wounded a foe you can do devistating attacks that will instantly kill a wounded foe. In the new game your power is up but thanfully they've upped the anti.
Enemies are relentlessly hellbent on destroying you. I casually called out to my housemate as I was playing "Hey, watch this." He stumbles over. I'm running along a metal bridge, there's a gap in the bridge but there's a wall nearby that I can run along to get across. As I come towards this, two ninja begin to approach me from the other side. A leap and a dash attack, I land on the ground and the body of my fallen lands behind me, headless. His friend lands beside me and quickly meets a similar pace. He's quick to ask me "Whoa man, what just happened?" Unsure exactly of what just unfolded.
The game is that awesome.
Boss fights are insane, I'm stuck midway through the game and every boss seems to get more and more difficult. It's awesome but I'm only one man and apparently the japanese are far more adept ninja than canadians. Its something I've come to accept but it's not going to stop me from trying, the desire to get to the next stage and take on whatever the game wants to throw at me. It's that constant carnage, the devistation factor. You're so violently potent it's amazing and this is all at a fingertip.
This game has quite a bit more gore and blood than the first ninja gaiden, unruly parents might want to take note of that before they poop a brick because their child is playing this game. The fallen bodies of your foes also remain afterwards so if you're backtracking you'll find that many fell before you... It's kind of creepy in a way.
Overall though, I think any gamer with a 360 who is looking for an uncompromising action experience, this is a must own. Its pretty much exactly what we should have expected.
Until next time, keep your shuriken at the ready.
Peace!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
The War on Smoking or: How Health Canada Flaunts Its Power Like A Throbbing Boner
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
There was a time where Smoking wasn't so taboo, if it's hard to believe. I'm not from this age, although my father might remember such a time. Smoking was anything except bad, the image that it produced was golden. People just looked bad ass smoking a cigarette and everyone knew it. Everywhere you looked, smoking was advertised, it was in movies, on the television. It was pretty much widely accepted everywhere.
Then, the cat was let out of the bag, cigarettes cause cancer? Fuck! Beyond the fact that the fucking things were always addicting (and even more so now) they cause cancer? Well... shit.
All of a sudden, the 90's hit and it's illegal (In Canada anyway) for Cigarettes to advertise in any way. Tobacco advertisements are taken off television, sporting events have suddenly found themselves out of a huge sponsor (Cigarettes used promoted on everything) and have to find relatable other products to pimp their shit. (Yeah, my points are awesome when I use the words 'pimp' and 'shit' in the same sentence)
That wasn't good enough for Health Canada though. Now people needed to be reminded even more than they already were that Cigarettes are in fact bad. They start sticking these ridiculous warning labels on the cigarette. A destroyed heart, nasty ass teeth from mouth cancer, the fact that cigarettes lead to erectile dysfunction, if you smoke your kids will want to too, lung tissue raped by lung cancer. Scathing images accompany breif blurbs that remind the smoker their habit is bad! But no, that wasn't good enough either.
So you gotta start banning smoking in public places. Okay, that's reasonable, not everyone smokes and as society began a huge 'health' trend in the wake of all of this, smokers inevitably got the shaft. There's no smoking in bars, no smoking in restaurants, no smoking anywhere that somebody else could be harmed by the nasty second hand smoke! Apparently the vast majority of people want to live as long as they can. This just got worse. It's now illegal to smoke in front of public entrances. You must be at least 10 feet away from a public entrance if you're going to light up in the province of British Columbia. In the Northwest Territories you aren't even allowed to smoke cigarettes on your own property, only inside. Damn, talk about cleaning house.
The Anti-Smoking shock waves continued to ripple, as of June first, it was illegal to have tobacco products displayed in any fashion. The driving thought is that, if the children can't see the cigarettes that they won't want to buy them. Smokers were stunned. I work in a convenience store and the number of smokers who just assumed we stopped selling them because they couldn't see them. I almost thought that Health Canada might have come up with a good idea at the expense of the stress levels of retailers everywhere.
My co-worker tells me that they (Health Canada) want to make the shelves we use to house the tobacco in the stores illegal. Their reasoning: Because knowing the smokes are sitting there tempts smokers into buying them...
Temps them? THEY CAN'T FUCKING SEE THE CIGARETTES ANYWAY!
In my breif experience, It's usually the things that we can't have that we want the most. Why the fuck are they having the retailers jump through these fucking hoops? If smoking is so bad that they've pretty much made smoking more intolerant that pornography than I think it might not be a bad idea to just stop selling cigarettes all together. In Canada we have quarantined liquor stores, you won't find any twelve packs sitting in the coolers of 7-eleven. Why don't they do the same for cigarettes, make provincially regulated tobacco stores. They're not going to stop selling them because they tax the shit out of them to make ass loads of cash off of the smokes to begin with.
I smoke, and I don't like it but the bastards are as addicting as they say. If they stopped selling them all together I wouldn't be heart broken, I'd get over it and so would the rest of the smokers, I hope. I wish we could reach a modicum of common sense, find some kind of middle ground. We have to hide the cigarettes and everything but we can leave the weed busters and cigarette cases out to display? Health Canada needs to get its shit in order, like maybe maintaining a health care system that's quickly hitting the proverbial shitter, I guess they've got bigger things to worry about. Between The Parliament and The RCMP I've got enough of a lack of faith in the powers that be without having to worry about the people who regulate what's acceptable as far as standards of living is concerned. I guess I could be like everyone else and stop giving a fuck?
In the mean time, light em' up while you still can
Peace!
There was a time where Smoking wasn't so taboo, if it's hard to believe. I'm not from this age, although my father might remember such a time. Smoking was anything except bad, the image that it produced was golden. People just looked bad ass smoking a cigarette and everyone knew it. Everywhere you looked, smoking was advertised, it was in movies, on the television. It was pretty much widely accepted everywhere.
Then, the cat was let out of the bag, cigarettes cause cancer? Fuck! Beyond the fact that the fucking things were always addicting (and even more so now) they cause cancer? Well... shit.
All of a sudden, the 90's hit and it's illegal (In Canada anyway) for Cigarettes to advertise in any way. Tobacco advertisements are taken off television, sporting events have suddenly found themselves out of a huge sponsor (Cigarettes used promoted on everything) and have to find relatable other products to pimp their shit. (Yeah, my points are awesome when I use the words 'pimp' and 'shit' in the same sentence)
That wasn't good enough for Health Canada though. Now people needed to be reminded even more than they already were that Cigarettes are in fact bad. They start sticking these ridiculous warning labels on the cigarette. A destroyed heart, nasty ass teeth from mouth cancer, the fact that cigarettes lead to erectile dysfunction, if you smoke your kids will want to too, lung tissue raped by lung cancer. Scathing images accompany breif blurbs that remind the smoker their habit is bad! But no, that wasn't good enough either.
So you gotta start banning smoking in public places. Okay, that's reasonable, not everyone smokes and as society began a huge 'health' trend in the wake of all of this, smokers inevitably got the shaft. There's no smoking in bars, no smoking in restaurants, no smoking anywhere that somebody else could be harmed by the nasty second hand smoke! Apparently the vast majority of people want to live as long as they can. This just got worse. It's now illegal to smoke in front of public entrances. You must be at least 10 feet away from a public entrance if you're going to light up in the province of British Columbia. In the Northwest Territories you aren't even allowed to smoke cigarettes on your own property, only inside. Damn, talk about cleaning house.
The Anti-Smoking shock waves continued to ripple, as of June first, it was illegal to have tobacco products displayed in any fashion. The driving thought is that, if the children can't see the cigarettes that they won't want to buy them. Smokers were stunned. I work in a convenience store and the number of smokers who just assumed we stopped selling them because they couldn't see them. I almost thought that Health Canada might have come up with a good idea at the expense of the stress levels of retailers everywhere.
My co-worker tells me that they (Health Canada) want to make the shelves we use to house the tobacco in the stores illegal. Their reasoning: Because knowing the smokes are sitting there tempts smokers into buying them...
Temps them? THEY CAN'T FUCKING SEE THE CIGARETTES ANYWAY!
In my breif experience, It's usually the things that we can't have that we want the most. Why the fuck are they having the retailers jump through these fucking hoops? If smoking is so bad that they've pretty much made smoking more intolerant that pornography than I think it might not be a bad idea to just stop selling cigarettes all together. In Canada we have quarantined liquor stores, you won't find any twelve packs sitting in the coolers of 7-eleven. Why don't they do the same for cigarettes, make provincially regulated tobacco stores. They're not going to stop selling them because they tax the shit out of them to make ass loads of cash off of the smokes to begin with.
I smoke, and I don't like it but the bastards are as addicting as they say. If they stopped selling them all together I wouldn't be heart broken, I'd get over it and so would the rest of the smokers, I hope. I wish we could reach a modicum of common sense, find some kind of middle ground. We have to hide the cigarettes and everything but we can leave the weed busters and cigarette cases out to display? Health Canada needs to get its shit in order, like maybe maintaining a health care system that's quickly hitting the proverbial shitter, I guess they've got bigger things to worry about. Between The Parliament and The RCMP I've got enough of a lack of faith in the powers that be without having to worry about the people who regulate what's acceptable as far as standards of living is concerned. I guess I could be like everyone else and stop giving a fuck?
In the mean time, light em' up while you still can
Peace!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Rambling On
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
That's not to suggest I'm crazy or anything It's really just a precursor to assuming whatever I have to say here is the truth, from the heart, and well, as irrelevant as it may seem to you it has striking resonance to me personally otherwise I wouldn't be taking the time to write about it.
I've written about all kinds of things; superheroes, aliens, secret government organizations and little white lies. Fiction is a wonderful tool, a great place to expunge imaginatively pursuits. I love to write and I love to write because it's one of the few times I feel truly free. Inside my little world of the page I can literally create anything I can think of, and I'm only restricted by my own imagination. A world of words holds a freedom unlike anywhere else and its this place that I feel most comfortable.
I think that it's important for everyone to have something that they can lose themselves in, and if they haven't found it I think everyone should be looking. Don't let yourselves become complacent with the cards life has dealt to you. We all need something absconding from the powerful grasp of CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox and we all need to find some thing to embrace like Tennis, Golf, fuck even reading. Because there definitely isn't a lot of imagination going on in the world today.
Anyone who grew up in the 80's feels it. Whenever they may be enjoying a program with their youngsters. Cartoons of today hardly have any imaginations, Cartoons that were on the air when I was a kid. Cartoons like Batman: The Animated Series, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Tick, and a whole slew of others. If you were to pick any cartoon from the crop of my childhood and compare it to whatever they're showing on television today I can guarantee that the result of the test would be that nostalgia wins, all the time. Maybe it's just personal resonance but things that we watched in our youth, regardless of quality, they always sit with me. I would take Darkwing Duck or The Loony Toons any day of the week.
Movies is the same thing, I was watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit the other day which easily has to be one of the most imaginative children's movies ever created. What child could hate a movie which has practically every staple of his own childhood in it when in contrast to something like Space Jam, The novelty of Bugs and Daffy sharing the screne with Michael Jordan and Bill Murray doesn't quite compare to Bob Hoskins flying from the sky as Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny taunt him with their own parachutes, before pulling a very loony trick on the falling Mr. Hoskins. I never watched Loony Toons: Back In Action but I am pretty confident it doesn't compare.
Everywhere media is present, we can see. As time has come and gone, the suits that control these mediums have broken it down into a science. They don't give a shit about imagination and story. They have broken down what should make a financially successful movie into a formula and its a formula that they test again and again every year, and more and more of us continue to see this downward trend and nobody stops to wonder why the U.S. Box Office numbers have been at an all time low, not that The Internet has had anything to do with that, people don't want to go and pay abysmal prices to go watch shitty movies. At least, we shouldn't! A lot of us do all the time! STOP IT!
I would just love to feel excited to go to the theater again. Know I wont have to worry about being assaulted by car commercials or advertisements. Knowing that I'm escaping to a world of carefully thought out and pondered imagination and not a movie that some studio has manufactured from ground one for commercial success. I would love to walk into a movie and be blown away by it, rather than knowing full well what I'm getting from a movie months before it comes out due to revealing movie trailers and constant media coverage. It's all big business but I ask, where's the mystique?
Just try to pour a little imagination into your life, read a book. Turn off the TV, sit down with your friends and talk about something that makes you think. Use your brains and we'll all be off for the better
Maybe a more direct message next time but until then,
Peace!
That's not to suggest I'm crazy or anything It's really just a precursor to assuming whatever I have to say here is the truth, from the heart, and well, as irrelevant as it may seem to you it has striking resonance to me personally otherwise I wouldn't be taking the time to write about it.
I've written about all kinds of things; superheroes, aliens, secret government organizations and little white lies. Fiction is a wonderful tool, a great place to expunge imaginatively pursuits. I love to write and I love to write because it's one of the few times I feel truly free. Inside my little world of the page I can literally create anything I can think of, and I'm only restricted by my own imagination. A world of words holds a freedom unlike anywhere else and its this place that I feel most comfortable.
I think that it's important for everyone to have something that they can lose themselves in, and if they haven't found it I think everyone should be looking. Don't let yourselves become complacent with the cards life has dealt to you. We all need something absconding from the powerful grasp of CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox and we all need to find some thing to embrace like Tennis, Golf, fuck even reading. Because there definitely isn't a lot of imagination going on in the world today.
Anyone who grew up in the 80's feels it. Whenever they may be enjoying a program with their youngsters. Cartoons of today hardly have any imaginations, Cartoons that were on the air when I was a kid. Cartoons like Batman: The Animated Series, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Tick, and a whole slew of others. If you were to pick any cartoon from the crop of my childhood and compare it to whatever they're showing on television today I can guarantee that the result of the test would be that nostalgia wins, all the time. Maybe it's just personal resonance but things that we watched in our youth, regardless of quality, they always sit with me. I would take Darkwing Duck or The Loony Toons any day of the week.
Movies is the same thing, I was watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit the other day which easily has to be one of the most imaginative children's movies ever created. What child could hate a movie which has practically every staple of his own childhood in it when in contrast to something like Space Jam, The novelty of Bugs and Daffy sharing the screne with Michael Jordan and Bill Murray doesn't quite compare to Bob Hoskins flying from the sky as Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny taunt him with their own parachutes, before pulling a very loony trick on the falling Mr. Hoskins. I never watched Loony Toons: Back In Action but I am pretty confident it doesn't compare.
Everywhere media is present, we can see. As time has come and gone, the suits that control these mediums have broken it down into a science. They don't give a shit about imagination and story. They have broken down what should make a financially successful movie into a formula and its a formula that they test again and again every year, and more and more of us continue to see this downward trend and nobody stops to wonder why the U.S. Box Office numbers have been at an all time low, not that The Internet has had anything to do with that, people don't want to go and pay abysmal prices to go watch shitty movies. At least, we shouldn't! A lot of us do all the time! STOP IT!
I would just love to feel excited to go to the theater again. Know I wont have to worry about being assaulted by car commercials or advertisements. Knowing that I'm escaping to a world of carefully thought out and pondered imagination and not a movie that some studio has manufactured from ground one for commercial success. I would love to walk into a movie and be blown away by it, rather than knowing full well what I'm getting from a movie months before it comes out due to revealing movie trailers and constant media coverage. It's all big business but I ask, where's the mystique?
Just try to pour a little imagination into your life, read a book. Turn off the TV, sit down with your friends and talk about something that makes you think. Use your brains and we'll all be off for the better
Maybe a more direct message next time but until then,
Peace!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Comedic Conundrum
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
In lieu of watching Will Ferrell's latest comedic affair Semi-Pro I can't help but find myself on a bit of a paradoxical train of thought. Comedy, as for many has always been my chosen genre of escapism. Be it the exaggeration, the unreality of it or perhaps just the sheer amount of teenage vulgarity that seems to be seeping into today's movies it's all win in my books. Semi-Pro was not his most stalwart film as far as comedic exploits but it really had all of the needs that I have for a Ferrell comedy hour.
- He was loud, check, he definitely stole the show with merciless scenes of vulgarity and unearned bravado.
- He looked funny, check, few actors in Hollywood excel when they look their worst. In Semi-Pro he played another character where redemption seemed improbable. The worst the 70's had to offer as far as style is concerned is Will Ferrell's gain, and ours too.
- He was surrounded by a supporting cast, ehh... This movie had no short sight of co-stars worth of laughs but despite their best efforts, Will Arnett and Andy Richter hardly stand up to Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd, and this movie floundered because of it. If not for a revealing poker game this movie very easily could've drown in the mud (and I'm sure it did in some of your eyes.)
My point is, and always has been, that if Will Ferrell wasn't making comedies that force us to shake our head with jovial embarrassment or make us laugh at blatant sexism and inequality jokes, perhaps we'd still have to sit through dreadful Rob Schneider and David Spade comedies... (oh god, they're still making movies too though. I actually saw a Rob Schnieder film I kinda wanted to watch today at the movie store. It's probably because he's not the star of it.)
In lieu of countless Ferrell critisism I offer to criticize (and praise) all of today's Comedic Stars in a little game I like to call... Lets Try To Shit On Comedic Actors!
Will Ferrell: Sure, he brought us some comedic gold in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Talledegah Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby but lets face it, those movies surrounded him with likable, funny characters that helped spread the comedic joy around. Will Ferrell proved to me during his stalwart stint on Saturday Night Live, and in movies like Zoolander and with small appearances in movies like Starsky and Hutch and Wedding Crashers that he has shameless comedic range that he has no problem utilizing for ultimate laughter. However, forgettable comedies like Kicking and Screaming, Blades of Glory and the aforementioned Semi-Pro, its as if Hollywood wants to literally allow Will Ferrell to scream himself into an early comedic hiatus. He's big, he's hairy, he screams, he throws tantrums and he likes to show off his hairy body, I get it... but he's funnier than that.
His characters are modestly similar, as with most comedic staples, Will Ferrell definitely enjoys playing a character who makes the most out of his situation with lavish parties, expensive wives and homes, flaunting his hairy body wherever he can, he usually plays characters whose motivations are so inane you stop and wonder for a moment if you could imagine anyone so ridiculous and chances are you may know a person or two who shares a bit in common with Ron Burgundy. When he's forced to hold his own fort he resorts to shouting, being larger and louder than anyone else on screen, even Robert Duvall couldn't manage to be an interesting co-star. There is only John C. Reilly that has managed to find a duality to Mr. Ferell's madness but Will is really only one or two 'shouters' away from being shunned all together. Thankfully he manages to pull a rabbit out of his hat once a year to remind us why he's king of the mountain, in my opinion.
My Medicine: Keep milking comedies with him and John C. Reilly that combination is a winner as we're due to see in this summers Step Brothers. Unless you're going to put a supporting cast of unique, peculiar characters to bring a calm to Ferrell's relentless verbal assaults its only a matter of time before we start hoping Adam Sandler gets good again! (Please god do not let it come to that!!!)
Ben Stiller: He's graced our screens enough to earn the utmost disdain from some of us, yet the 90's hasn't stopped Ben Stiller and he's still bringing us movies that entertain, at least they make me laugh. Movies like Zoolander, Starsky and Hutch and Mystery Men instantly come to mind as movies that have made me laugh until my sides are splitting in agony. He is probably the most fearless comedic actor in Hollywood as he will never hesitate to do whatever is necessary to try and get a laugh out of an audience. However, his neanderthals approach to comedy has earned him as much disdain as it has praise. Whenever I see the end scene of Starsky and Hutch, and he starts to repeat "Do it." over and over again, it's absurd, it's annoying, it probably makes you cringe but it makes me chuckle.
In the upcoming Tropic Thunder it's joked that Ben Stiller's character became famous for acting as a retarded man in a movie that earned him acclaim. Be damned if he isn't either making fun of us for buying into this time and again or if he's really so fearless as to identify with what has continued to bring him paychecks for the past decade. Dodgeball we saw him play the owner of a gym franchise that was hellbent on bringing down "Average Joe's" to absorb it into his franchise via, tearing the building down to build a parking complex for his gym. His 'retarded' characters are what always get the laughs from me but its a concept he's beaten into the ground, I'm betting on Tropic Thunder continuing this trend. I've always spurned Stiller for his friendly, chic comedies that he's made, in the There's Something About Marry, Duplex, Along Came Polly cattegory, and its another genre of comedy he happens to be a hit but probably where he earns the greatest disdain from me, particularly because it's a style that Adam Sandler has failed to emulate since Big Daddy.
My Medicine: I like the movies that Ben Stiller plays stupid characters that are so self-involved. Its the way he does it, that makes his characters hilariously un-likable that really draws me in. He's best when he's opposite Owen Wilson, Zoolander and Starsky & Hutch showed us that. They need to do another buddy comedy together, now! Get him in a movie with Paul Rudd and I bet there would be some magic, and some much deserved stardom for Mr. Rudd.
Vince Vaughn: The movie Swingers opened the door to a new comedic star, but it wasn't really until Old School came out that Vince Vaughn started opening eyes as a funny man. His unstoppable ability to generate babble makes him unstoppable. He is the sophisticated ranter, able to talk himself out of any situation. This is, of all the comedic star archetypes, easily the best to promote yet he still makes these forgettable movies, Fred Claus co-staring Paul Giamatti, what? The Break-Up... that was god awful! Vince! You're killing me here. Here you stand the tallest, brightest star in the comedic world. You could be teaming up with anyone, Luke Wilson, Ferrell, Stiller, hell, you could make a comedy with Rob Schneider and it would probably kick ass! You could literally stand on screen for 90 minutes talking about fuck all and I would probably laugh until my spleen ruptured.
Yet, nothing. You insist on staring with Reese Witherspoon and making Christmas movies? Is that where the paychecks are at? I just hope you're happy making this shit that I'm not going to watch, although my 9 bucks at the cinema or my 5 dollars at the Rental store are not going to sway your life one way or the other, I just wish you'd make something that looked awesome and that I looked forward to seeing.
My Medicine: Get on the Judd Apatow bandwagon, start making some real hilarious movies. This man is producing and making pretty much the best comedies that Hollywood has to offer today, and you being one of the funniest actors in Hollywood, well it only makes sense to me. You would be a worthy catalyst for his creative vigor. Make a movie with Seth Rogen and I think I would be in laughter heaven.
Jim Carrey: Once the king of the fucking castle, he has now completely absconded from the movies that made him famous, made him a name, made him anything to make pretty much whatever he can seem to tolerate in film. I grew up with Liar Liar, The Ace Ventura movies, The Cable Guy, The Mask. There is honestly a huge ballpen of awesome comedies in Carrey's vault but no, that is not what he is about anymore. He's made some cool movies. The Majestic was probably the beginning of this trend, movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Number 23 continue this trend of, okay but ultimately un-funny movies. I dig that he's got a serious side. Robin Williams has a serious side but we all love him! Why not Jim?
Because Jim, you're not as good an actor as Robin Williams, you're wacky, you're zany, you're off the charts and thats where you should've stayed. I could only imagine in my mind the kind of lunacy that would emerge if we saw Jim Carrey cutting loose on Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell or even Adam Sandler comedies, if it's an ego thing Jim, that's okay. You can have your own soap box, i'm sure you've got the kind of pull that if you walked up to Judd Apatow and said "Make me funny again" we would have something on our hands other than Bruce Almighty to treasure. I know you have it in you now stop dicking yourself around unless making movies that people will just wish were comedies is your bag, then power to you.
My Medicine: I think that a Robin Williams/Jim Carrey comedy would be relentless, the two of them off the hook for 100 minutes, god only knows what kind of comedic chaos would ensue. A real up-lifting father/son bonding comedy, I think we'd have a serious winner at our hands and even more so. We'd get to see two of the treasures of the 90's make a funny movie that wouldn't involve cross dressing or penis jokes, (but you can throw the penis jokes in there too!)
Adam Sandler: I dont know what to think about you Adam Sandler, you can be funny, once and a while but you're pretty much the Dane Cook of the comedic Hollywood scene. You're not funny but you've got a few jokes on your belt so you've decided you can hang with the big dogs. Let's not be too modest now, Happy Gilmore was a complete winner and the fight scene with Bob Barker will always go down as one of the funniest things ever. But really, how many different movies can Rob Schnieder say "you can do it!" while earnestly impersonating a minority and how many times can you beat the dead horse? Until it's well into decomposition as far as these two are concerned.
Who would've thought you'd be a diamond in the rough dramatically? Click was strong because Sandler's dramatic strengths pretty much outweigh any Comedic flaws he has, its the reason he's been making movies as long as he has. His best movies are Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me. Trying to find a middle ground between those movies sensibilities and the comedic staples that have created your fan base is completely impossible. Now, Judd Apatow has chosen you his avatar of comedic stardom, and that begins with You Don't Mess with the Zohan. A movie where he plays a Mossad agent who has faked his own death to re-emerge in The Big Apple as a hair stylist. This movie just seems a bit too Bruno to me, and I think Sacha Baron Cohen has the patent on this idea. His movie will be better than yours except now anyone who has had the misfortune of not watching The Ali G Show will be under the impression that his idea is like yours. Don't pretend it won't happen, I know it will and it will piss me off.
My Medicine: Both Jim Carrey and Robin Williams fearlessly dove into the drama genre which embraced them with open arms, it has done the same for you yet you stubbornly try to create a win-win situation for yourself where you can get the best of both worlds. I do believe that Zohan will be the funniest movie you've made for a while, but I don't believe it will be any good. I think Co-Starring with somebody who isn't Kevin James(not to discredit the King of Queens but...) you might have a winner on your hands. Don't be afraid to jump into the world of drama's. Your empathetic everyman sensibilities make you a good anchor for a sad story. It's why you were good in Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me. If you insist on making more comedy than you need to make movies that you aren't trying to be the vocal funny point because if anything been proven in the past 5 years its that movies that attack from all over the humor spectrum are the movies that get quoted relentlessly, and are generally well-recieved. Your one-trick movies have never accomplished that short of... "The price is wrong, bitch.", and we got tired of it around 50 First Dates.
Anyway, I guess I wasn't as relentless as I'd hoped but at the very least, there's my rant on Hollywood's comedy situation. I think that its in safe hands with the stars of today, as well as funny-men like Steve Carrell, Sacha Baron Cohen, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, and Will Arnett that will most likely be spear-heading the comedic scene in a matter of years ensures that we will be chuckling long into the 2010's and that makes me smile.
Until next time, go rent a comedy and take a load off.
Peace!
In lieu of watching Will Ferrell's latest comedic affair Semi-Pro I can't help but find myself on a bit of a paradoxical train of thought. Comedy, as for many has always been my chosen genre of escapism. Be it the exaggeration, the unreality of it or perhaps just the sheer amount of teenage vulgarity that seems to be seeping into today's movies it's all win in my books. Semi-Pro was not his most stalwart film as far as comedic exploits but it really had all of the needs that I have for a Ferrell comedy hour.
- He was loud, check, he definitely stole the show with merciless scenes of vulgarity and unearned bravado.
- He looked funny, check, few actors in Hollywood excel when they look their worst. In Semi-Pro he played another character where redemption seemed improbable. The worst the 70's had to offer as far as style is concerned is Will Ferrell's gain, and ours too.
- He was surrounded by a supporting cast, ehh... This movie had no short sight of co-stars worth of laughs but despite their best efforts, Will Arnett and Andy Richter hardly stand up to Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd, and this movie floundered because of it. If not for a revealing poker game this movie very easily could've drown in the mud (and I'm sure it did in some of your eyes.)
My point is, and always has been, that if Will Ferrell wasn't making comedies that force us to shake our head with jovial embarrassment or make us laugh at blatant sexism and inequality jokes, perhaps we'd still have to sit through dreadful Rob Schneider and David Spade comedies... (oh god, they're still making movies too though. I actually saw a Rob Schnieder film I kinda wanted to watch today at the movie store. It's probably because he's not the star of it.)
In lieu of countless Ferrell critisism I offer to criticize (and praise) all of today's Comedic Stars in a little game I like to call... Lets Try To Shit On Comedic Actors!
Will Ferrell: Sure, he brought us some comedic gold in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Talledegah Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby but lets face it, those movies surrounded him with likable, funny characters that helped spread the comedic joy around. Will Ferrell proved to me during his stalwart stint on Saturday Night Live, and in movies like Zoolander and with small appearances in movies like Starsky and Hutch and Wedding Crashers that he has shameless comedic range that he has no problem utilizing for ultimate laughter. However, forgettable comedies like Kicking and Screaming, Blades of Glory and the aforementioned Semi-Pro, its as if Hollywood wants to literally allow Will Ferrell to scream himself into an early comedic hiatus. He's big, he's hairy, he screams, he throws tantrums and he likes to show off his hairy body, I get it... but he's funnier than that.
His characters are modestly similar, as with most comedic staples, Will Ferrell definitely enjoys playing a character who makes the most out of his situation with lavish parties, expensive wives and homes, flaunting his hairy body wherever he can, he usually plays characters whose motivations are so inane you stop and wonder for a moment if you could imagine anyone so ridiculous and chances are you may know a person or two who shares a bit in common with Ron Burgundy. When he's forced to hold his own fort he resorts to shouting, being larger and louder than anyone else on screen, even Robert Duvall couldn't manage to be an interesting co-star. There is only John C. Reilly that has managed to find a duality to Mr. Ferell's madness but Will is really only one or two 'shouters' away from being shunned all together. Thankfully he manages to pull a rabbit out of his hat once a year to remind us why he's king of the mountain, in my opinion.
My Medicine: Keep milking comedies with him and John C. Reilly that combination is a winner as we're due to see in this summers Step Brothers. Unless you're going to put a supporting cast of unique, peculiar characters to bring a calm to Ferrell's relentless verbal assaults its only a matter of time before we start hoping Adam Sandler gets good again! (Please god do not let it come to that!!!)
Ben Stiller: He's graced our screens enough to earn the utmost disdain from some of us, yet the 90's hasn't stopped Ben Stiller and he's still bringing us movies that entertain, at least they make me laugh. Movies like Zoolander, Starsky and Hutch and Mystery Men instantly come to mind as movies that have made me laugh until my sides are splitting in agony. He is probably the most fearless comedic actor in Hollywood as he will never hesitate to do whatever is necessary to try and get a laugh out of an audience. However, his neanderthals approach to comedy has earned him as much disdain as it has praise. Whenever I see the end scene of Starsky and Hutch, and he starts to repeat "Do it." over and over again, it's absurd, it's annoying, it probably makes you cringe but it makes me chuckle.
In the upcoming Tropic Thunder it's joked that Ben Stiller's character became famous for acting as a retarded man in a movie that earned him acclaim. Be damned if he isn't either making fun of us for buying into this time and again or if he's really so fearless as to identify with what has continued to bring him paychecks for the past decade. Dodgeball we saw him play the owner of a gym franchise that was hellbent on bringing down "Average Joe's" to absorb it into his franchise via, tearing the building down to build a parking complex for his gym. His 'retarded' characters are what always get the laughs from me but its a concept he's beaten into the ground, I'm betting on Tropic Thunder continuing this trend. I've always spurned Stiller for his friendly, chic comedies that he's made, in the There's Something About Marry, Duplex, Along Came Polly cattegory, and its another genre of comedy he happens to be a hit but probably where he earns the greatest disdain from me, particularly because it's a style that Adam Sandler has failed to emulate since Big Daddy.
My Medicine: I like the movies that Ben Stiller plays stupid characters that are so self-involved. Its the way he does it, that makes his characters hilariously un-likable that really draws me in. He's best when he's opposite Owen Wilson, Zoolander and Starsky & Hutch showed us that. They need to do another buddy comedy together, now! Get him in a movie with Paul Rudd and I bet there would be some magic, and some much deserved stardom for Mr. Rudd.
Vince Vaughn: The movie Swingers opened the door to a new comedic star, but it wasn't really until Old School came out that Vince Vaughn started opening eyes as a funny man. His unstoppable ability to generate babble makes him unstoppable. He is the sophisticated ranter, able to talk himself out of any situation. This is, of all the comedic star archetypes, easily the best to promote yet he still makes these forgettable movies, Fred Claus co-staring Paul Giamatti, what? The Break-Up... that was god awful! Vince! You're killing me here. Here you stand the tallest, brightest star in the comedic world. You could be teaming up with anyone, Luke Wilson, Ferrell, Stiller, hell, you could make a comedy with Rob Schneider and it would probably kick ass! You could literally stand on screen for 90 minutes talking about fuck all and I would probably laugh until my spleen ruptured.
Yet, nothing. You insist on staring with Reese Witherspoon and making Christmas movies? Is that where the paychecks are at? I just hope you're happy making this shit that I'm not going to watch, although my 9 bucks at the cinema or my 5 dollars at the Rental store are not going to sway your life one way or the other, I just wish you'd make something that looked awesome and that I looked forward to seeing.
My Medicine: Get on the Judd Apatow bandwagon, start making some real hilarious movies. This man is producing and making pretty much the best comedies that Hollywood has to offer today, and you being one of the funniest actors in Hollywood, well it only makes sense to me. You would be a worthy catalyst for his creative vigor. Make a movie with Seth Rogen and I think I would be in laughter heaven.
Jim Carrey: Once the king of the fucking castle, he has now completely absconded from the movies that made him famous, made him a name, made him anything to make pretty much whatever he can seem to tolerate in film. I grew up with Liar Liar, The Ace Ventura movies, The Cable Guy, The Mask. There is honestly a huge ballpen of awesome comedies in Carrey's vault but no, that is not what he is about anymore. He's made some cool movies. The Majestic was probably the beginning of this trend, movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Number 23 continue this trend of, okay but ultimately un-funny movies. I dig that he's got a serious side. Robin Williams has a serious side but we all love him! Why not Jim?
Because Jim, you're not as good an actor as Robin Williams, you're wacky, you're zany, you're off the charts and thats where you should've stayed. I could only imagine in my mind the kind of lunacy that would emerge if we saw Jim Carrey cutting loose on Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell or even Adam Sandler comedies, if it's an ego thing Jim, that's okay. You can have your own soap box, i'm sure you've got the kind of pull that if you walked up to Judd Apatow and said "Make me funny again" we would have something on our hands other than Bruce Almighty to treasure. I know you have it in you now stop dicking yourself around unless making movies that people will just wish were comedies is your bag, then power to you.
My Medicine: I think that a Robin Williams/Jim Carrey comedy would be relentless, the two of them off the hook for 100 minutes, god only knows what kind of comedic chaos would ensue. A real up-lifting father/son bonding comedy, I think we'd have a serious winner at our hands and even more so. We'd get to see two of the treasures of the 90's make a funny movie that wouldn't involve cross dressing or penis jokes, (but you can throw the penis jokes in there too!)
Adam Sandler: I dont know what to think about you Adam Sandler, you can be funny, once and a while but you're pretty much the Dane Cook of the comedic Hollywood scene. You're not funny but you've got a few jokes on your belt so you've decided you can hang with the big dogs. Let's not be too modest now, Happy Gilmore was a complete winner and the fight scene with Bob Barker will always go down as one of the funniest things ever. But really, how many different movies can Rob Schnieder say "you can do it!" while earnestly impersonating a minority and how many times can you beat the dead horse? Until it's well into decomposition as far as these two are concerned.
Who would've thought you'd be a diamond in the rough dramatically? Click was strong because Sandler's dramatic strengths pretty much outweigh any Comedic flaws he has, its the reason he's been making movies as long as he has. His best movies are Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me. Trying to find a middle ground between those movies sensibilities and the comedic staples that have created your fan base is completely impossible. Now, Judd Apatow has chosen you his avatar of comedic stardom, and that begins with You Don't Mess with the Zohan. A movie where he plays a Mossad agent who has faked his own death to re-emerge in The Big Apple as a hair stylist. This movie just seems a bit too Bruno to me, and I think Sacha Baron Cohen has the patent on this idea. His movie will be better than yours except now anyone who has had the misfortune of not watching The Ali G Show will be under the impression that his idea is like yours. Don't pretend it won't happen, I know it will and it will piss me off.
My Medicine: Both Jim Carrey and Robin Williams fearlessly dove into the drama genre which embraced them with open arms, it has done the same for you yet you stubbornly try to create a win-win situation for yourself where you can get the best of both worlds. I do believe that Zohan will be the funniest movie you've made for a while, but I don't believe it will be any good. I think Co-Starring with somebody who isn't Kevin James(not to discredit the King of Queens but...) you might have a winner on your hands. Don't be afraid to jump into the world of drama's. Your empathetic everyman sensibilities make you a good anchor for a sad story. It's why you were good in Punch Drunk Love and Reign Over Me. If you insist on making more comedy than you need to make movies that you aren't trying to be the vocal funny point because if anything been proven in the past 5 years its that movies that attack from all over the humor spectrum are the movies that get quoted relentlessly, and are generally well-recieved. Your one-trick movies have never accomplished that short of... "The price is wrong, bitch.", and we got tired of it around 50 First Dates.
Anyway, I guess I wasn't as relentless as I'd hoped but at the very least, there's my rant on Hollywood's comedy situation. I think that its in safe hands with the stars of today, as well as funny-men like Steve Carrell, Sacha Baron Cohen, Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, and Will Arnett that will most likely be spear-heading the comedic scene in a matter of years ensures that we will be chuckling long into the 2010's and that makes me smile.
Until next time, go rent a comedy and take a load off.
Peace!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
You'd think telling an old woman to 'eff off would be out of the question.
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
Now I can certainly hope I am not alone in thinking that accosting an old woman vulgarly in the middle of a wal-mart would be out of the question for pretty much everyone, right? Imagine a scenario with me for a moment. You're at your local wal-mart and you're picking up a few of the things that wal-mart has more conveniently for a cheaper price than everyone else and you're ready to check-out. The self-check stations are all closed, and the open check-out aisles are all flooded with customers. I'm sure this isn't an out of the ordinary experience for any of us.
As anyone would, I took the opportune moment to accept the Assistant Managers time as he opened a new till for me, and others in line. The first till next to the exit. The quickest way out of hell and it's open to me. I allow the old lady in front of me to go before me, even though she offered to let me in front of her because I was holding less things than she was. The assistant manager was polite, professional and courteous in doing what was effectively his job. Clearly they had inner-promoted well with this one. I was free, I thought, items bagged for me, receipt in hand, I was free to go.
As I step towards the exit, the aforementioned old woman stops my friend and checks his receipt, and then quickly looks through his bag, and proceeds to do the same to me and the first reaction I have in mind is to tell this bitch to fuck off. Why is that? Its her job, she's told to do it. I've gone through their check-out aisle, I've got their printed reciept in my hand, and now their employee is investigating through my purchase to ensure that I haven't stolen with no pretense at all? I'm sorry, but that's bullshit.
Now, had their self-check out station been open, I had taken my time to use it and hope to god it functions properly, bag my own things, take the reciept it prints me. I walk up to the door and their alarm goes off. As far as I'm concerned they have the right as a store to do what they can with what they have put in place to prevent shoplifting. How the fuck is stopping me, and going through my bag after she's seen my receipt. THERE IS NO FUCKING SELF CHECK-OUT OPEN... I really want to re-enforce that fact. How is that right?
Now, hate on wal-mart because you have grounds, hate on them because it's popular but I live in a small town where wally world has managed to weave its intricate web on the town and has pretty much become a staple as a place to find pretty much anything you need, for cheaper than anywhere else. It's tough to beat, when you know they have what you're looking for and you most likely won't find it elsewhere. I don't understand where they have the grounds to look through what I've just paid for, without any kind of alarm, especially, ESPECIALLY, after she's just looked at my goddamn reciept!
Fuck you wal-mart for invading my privacy, without any just grounds. I will not verbally defecate on some woman in wal-mart but I will have no problem doing it to a manager. If they have some legitimate grounds of actually doing it, great. But this shit will not stand, I go to wal-mart, maybe once or twice a month tops and I am certainly not going to jump through their fucking hoops for this bullshit. I shouldn't be brought to a state of rage by any old woman under any circumstance, much less at wal-mart, a store that supposedly prides itself on its customer service. Fuck you for pretty much making my experience even less engrossing. It doesn't help that you try to tempt me at every corner much less how you seem to cut your prices each week on practically every thing I want. I don't need to feel like I'm being invaded every time I decide I will give into my wanting and buy something because there's no better place to buy Video Games or CD's in town.
I can only ask that you maybe stand up a bit for what little privacy we seem to be entitled to. I'm not letting wal-mart invade my life when I already feel the suits who run this country do enough to be an all seeing eye as it is.
Please, fight for the right of privacy and until next time,
Peace!
Now I can certainly hope I am not alone in thinking that accosting an old woman vulgarly in the middle of a wal-mart would be out of the question for pretty much everyone, right? Imagine a scenario with me for a moment. You're at your local wal-mart and you're picking up a few of the things that wal-mart has more conveniently for a cheaper price than everyone else and you're ready to check-out. The self-check stations are all closed, and the open check-out aisles are all flooded with customers. I'm sure this isn't an out of the ordinary experience for any of us.
As anyone would, I took the opportune moment to accept the Assistant Managers time as he opened a new till for me, and others in line. The first till next to the exit. The quickest way out of hell and it's open to me. I allow the old lady in front of me to go before me, even though she offered to let me in front of her because I was holding less things than she was. The assistant manager was polite, professional and courteous in doing what was effectively his job. Clearly they had inner-promoted well with this one. I was free, I thought, items bagged for me, receipt in hand, I was free to go.
As I step towards the exit, the aforementioned old woman stops my friend and checks his receipt, and then quickly looks through his bag, and proceeds to do the same to me and the first reaction I have in mind is to tell this bitch to fuck off. Why is that? Its her job, she's told to do it. I've gone through their check-out aisle, I've got their printed reciept in my hand, and now their employee is investigating through my purchase to ensure that I haven't stolen with no pretense at all? I'm sorry, but that's bullshit.
Now, had their self-check out station been open, I had taken my time to use it and hope to god it functions properly, bag my own things, take the reciept it prints me. I walk up to the door and their alarm goes off. As far as I'm concerned they have the right as a store to do what they can with what they have put in place to prevent shoplifting. How the fuck is stopping me, and going through my bag after she's seen my receipt. THERE IS NO FUCKING SELF CHECK-OUT OPEN... I really want to re-enforce that fact. How is that right?
Now, hate on wal-mart because you have grounds, hate on them because it's popular but I live in a small town where wally world has managed to weave its intricate web on the town and has pretty much become a staple as a place to find pretty much anything you need, for cheaper than anywhere else. It's tough to beat, when you know they have what you're looking for and you most likely won't find it elsewhere. I don't understand where they have the grounds to look through what I've just paid for, without any kind of alarm, especially, ESPECIALLY, after she's just looked at my goddamn reciept!
Fuck you wal-mart for invading my privacy, without any just grounds. I will not verbally defecate on some woman in wal-mart but I will have no problem doing it to a manager. If they have some legitimate grounds of actually doing it, great. But this shit will not stand, I go to wal-mart, maybe once or twice a month tops and I am certainly not going to jump through their fucking hoops for this bullshit. I shouldn't be brought to a state of rage by any old woman under any circumstance, much less at wal-mart, a store that supposedly prides itself on its customer service. Fuck you for pretty much making my experience even less engrossing. It doesn't help that you try to tempt me at every corner much less how you seem to cut your prices each week on practically every thing I want. I don't need to feel like I'm being invaded every time I decide I will give into my wanting and buy something because there's no better place to buy Video Games or CD's in town.
I can only ask that you maybe stand up a bit for what little privacy we seem to be entitled to. I'm not letting wal-mart invade my life when I already feel the suits who run this country do enough to be an all seeing eye as it is.
Please, fight for the right of privacy and until next time,
Peace!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Loss of Personal Accountability... and Political Anger
I don't think I'm inside my own mind today and I'd just like to get it out of the way now. There's a bit of cursing in todays entry, so pardon me but...
When did we, as a people, effectively lose our testicles and become big flaming vagina's? How come whenever somebodies child shoots up a school or commits suicide we can find it so effortless to point the finger everywhere except where it needs to be pointed. Scapegoats are everywhere in our society, be it Video Games, Music, Movies, hell we can even find time to point the finger at the homosexuals too. Why can't we ever fucking blame ourselves for anything anymore?
I sit here before you a broken man, lost inside a world he has no control over, Is the internet the only place where we can be fearless anymore? I am pretty certain they have their greasy paws all over our beloved World Wide Web... Regardless, I stand fearless to point some blame. Lets fucking blame the parents!
Whoa?! What. Why? It's impossible that the parents, the PARENTS of the children could somehow be to blame for their child's indiscretion but no, is it that we are far too afraid to see anything but good in people that we can't admit that sometimes things just don't go the way you planned? Kids are playing Grand Theft Auto and parents are suddenly shocked. Let me ask you a question, your kid tugs on your shoulders, points to the game. You decide to buy it for him, is there at no point of at least three different opportunities you are looking at the game, one of which you're HOLDING the game as you bring it to the counter, that you cant notice the modest "M" for Mature logo on the corner of the box, not to mention. You'd think some of that Fox News brainwashing would've at least caught wind your way by now right? You paid for the game!!! I don't understand how we can blame anybody BUT ourselves in this whole instance...
Can I ask why rapists are always being let out of prison? What the fuck are we thinking? Risk of re-offense, through the roof. The only reason we let these people go is because we don't want to PAY for them to be in prison isn't it? Murderers given early parole, every time I read a newspaper it seems to me that there is another excuse of why the death penalty would be a good idea. I don't want these assholes back on the street to kill me, thanks.
I'm going to blame you for a second, for creating a world that I don't like living in. Where politics are unimportant and the politicians seem more transparent and are more enthused with playing games in the House rather than doing things that matter. Inducing taxes on anything they want. I mean, if they want my money so bad why don't they just send some asshole to my door to inform me that they're going to be putting a glove on, and literally ripping my colon out of my asshole. We're heading toward a recession and everyone seems to be dodging that issue. No, it's not going to happen. No, we're absolutely fine. People are losing jobs, prices are going through the roof... I don't know. I think the line in the sand was blown away by the wind somewhere in the 70's and we crossed it in the 80's and now we're in the shitter.
I know my flaws, I've accepted them and I've moved on. Why does nobody vote? I look at Stephen Harper, he's a face to me nothing more, Stephane Dion? Plain and simple, he's out of his element and I don't even know why the Liberal's support this guy. Jack Layton? ...NDP yeah, I mean he's not really rockin the vote for me. Didn't in the last election either. If Canada can drop into an election as soon as the Liberals decide they're finally going to use that backbone of theirs, the Election is just going to go as the last one did, we will have more of a minority government than before and I wouldn't be surprised if Dion by some freak chance actually won! I would probably toss my vote Green, when I care so little about the big dogs, why not throw the little dog a bone.
There is nobody I can point the blame at so I'm just going to direct it at everyone. I know I don't do my part in what, I'm sure if I put more effort I could maybe actually make this world a better place. But unless we all make an effort, we're going to be sitting here being fucked around by the suits until we're all dead.
Sorry for all the cuss words, I promise to be calmer tomorrow...
Peace!
When did we, as a people, effectively lose our testicles and become big flaming vagina's? How come whenever somebodies child shoots up a school or commits suicide we can find it so effortless to point the finger everywhere except where it needs to be pointed. Scapegoats are everywhere in our society, be it Video Games, Music, Movies, hell we can even find time to point the finger at the homosexuals too. Why can't we ever fucking blame ourselves for anything anymore?
I sit here before you a broken man, lost inside a world he has no control over, Is the internet the only place where we can be fearless anymore? I am pretty certain they have their greasy paws all over our beloved World Wide Web... Regardless, I stand fearless to point some blame. Lets fucking blame the parents!
Whoa?! What. Why? It's impossible that the parents, the PARENTS of the children could somehow be to blame for their child's indiscretion but no, is it that we are far too afraid to see anything but good in people that we can't admit that sometimes things just don't go the way you planned? Kids are playing Grand Theft Auto and parents are suddenly shocked. Let me ask you a question, your kid tugs on your shoulders, points to the game. You decide to buy it for him, is there at no point of at least three different opportunities you are looking at the game, one of which you're HOLDING the game as you bring it to the counter, that you cant notice the modest "M" for Mature logo on the corner of the box, not to mention. You'd think some of that Fox News brainwashing would've at least caught wind your way by now right? You paid for the game!!! I don't understand how we can blame anybody BUT ourselves in this whole instance...
Can I ask why rapists are always being let out of prison? What the fuck are we thinking? Risk of re-offense, through the roof. The only reason we let these people go is because we don't want to PAY for them to be in prison isn't it? Murderers given early parole, every time I read a newspaper it seems to me that there is another excuse of why the death penalty would be a good idea. I don't want these assholes back on the street to kill me, thanks.
I'm going to blame you for a second, for creating a world that I don't like living in. Where politics are unimportant and the politicians seem more transparent and are more enthused with playing games in the House rather than doing things that matter. Inducing taxes on anything they want. I mean, if they want my money so bad why don't they just send some asshole to my door to inform me that they're going to be putting a glove on, and literally ripping my colon out of my asshole. We're heading toward a recession and everyone seems to be dodging that issue. No, it's not going to happen. No, we're absolutely fine. People are losing jobs, prices are going through the roof... I don't know. I think the line in the sand was blown away by the wind somewhere in the 70's and we crossed it in the 80's and now we're in the shitter.
I know my flaws, I've accepted them and I've moved on. Why does nobody vote? I look at Stephen Harper, he's a face to me nothing more, Stephane Dion? Plain and simple, he's out of his element and I don't even know why the Liberal's support this guy. Jack Layton? ...NDP yeah, I mean he's not really rockin the vote for me. Didn't in the last election either. If Canada can drop into an election as soon as the Liberals decide they're finally going to use that backbone of theirs, the Election is just going to go as the last one did, we will have more of a minority government than before and I wouldn't be surprised if Dion by some freak chance actually won! I would probably toss my vote Green, when I care so little about the big dogs, why not throw the little dog a bone.
There is nobody I can point the blame at so I'm just going to direct it at everyone. I know I don't do my part in what, I'm sure if I put more effort I could maybe actually make this world a better place. But unless we all make an effort, we're going to be sitting here being fucked around by the suits until we're all dead.
Sorry for all the cuss words, I promise to be calmer tomorrow...
Peace!
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