I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...
I've been busy with things, and that's why I haven't blogged too much lately. I've got something to say today however. In addition to noting that, I'm really only promising to myself that I'm going to give this a bit more attention. I successfully moved with my girlfriend and we've got all those lovely new stresses to deal with. I've found a job and I'm working so that's good.
But there's still a lot of time for procrastination. That's where movies and video games come into play. It's come to my attention that Vampires are all of a sudden cool again. They're on TV, they're in my movies, they're in my media. What was just something that Goths and LARP'ers were into is now a commonly accepted avenue for storytelling I guess.
The catalyst of my rage is the book "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer. This book has spawned huge commercial success, and three following novels. "New Moon", "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn" These romantically themed novels shining a brighter light on an otherwise dark and brooding creature has gotten hollywood's attention as well. Spawing the first of what is sure to be milked out as a film franchise.
The story Twilight is about a young girl who finds herself smitten by somebody she concludes is a Vampire! The vampire and the girl fall in love...
They fall in love?
I'm sorry. I've watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer. This shit just doesn't go down. Vampirs are SOULLESS! They are incapable of love! They're incapable of feeling and are creatures driven by pure desire. These desires are not physical. A vampire persues things that it takes an eternity to get. Vampires want power, they want prestige. They don't want into some teenagers pants.
Yes... Buffy fell for Angel, (Aaaand Spike) But they both had SOULS. They are anomalies in vampiric lore.
These books, which craft a lovely tale (I got a synopsis from Wikipedia, no way in HELL I'm actually going to read it. If I need some Vampiric love, I'll just force feed myself Underworld 2) where the main character falls in love with a Vampire. Vampire fears for his girlfriends safety, flees. In the second book, the main character meets a boy who is later revealed to be... A WEREWOLF (SHOCKING!) So this love triangle goes on into the fourth book. The newly converted Vampire makes a little baby Vampire while the scourned Werewolf stands there with his thumb up his bumb.
Seriously? This sounds like a fan fiction and by no means is that a compliment.
Now it's being made into a movie, invading my culture. This is ridiculous. Vampires don't love. I don't get how this shit can be taken seriously but I guess if this gets teenaged girls to stop watching horrible reality television and reading then that's a good thing, right?
I feel pretty strongly about Vampires. Their do's and don'ts. The Love card is a serious don't. Thirst for blood, thirst for vengeance. No thirsting for poonani. Vampires have bigger things to worry about. Im sure some would argue that vampries are sexual creatures because, we humans are sexual creatures. Humans worry enough about all the sex that they aren't having. I'm sure Vampires have much more important things to worry about in their immortality.
I don't know anyone who's read this book so I'm pretty much just shooting from the hip. A friend of mine told me the book was "good" but the movie "wasn't worth watching on an airplane"... Does anyone feel ripped off by these books? I feel ripped off and I haven't even gazed upon the first page! Maybe I'm missing out on something. If I cave and read this book, you'll be sure to hear about it. Until then though, EDUCATE yourselves. Go out and rent Bram Stokers: Dracula or hell go out and rent Underworld (the first one, not... for the love of god not the second one!)
Until I've become more informed about that new TV show "True Blood" which is sure to stir up more of my vampiric rage, next time should be a bit more organized and maybe less angry. Maybe something about sports or hating my job? Maybe a video game or movie rant... Who knows what will tickle my anger bone.
- PEACE
1 comment:
Dear cousin
I love you death and you know that but when you start bashing my book series it starts to get personal!
Your first contention was: vampires cant fall in love, they lust only for blood. they are souless
Edward would greatfully agree with you on the souless comment, he does feel his soul was removed when he was changed to wat he was, and that is why he was so reluctant to change bella infact she had to agree to either of 2 things 1) she had to be dying in his arms for him to change her, cause there is no other choice or 2) she'd have to marry him, bellas greatest fear, Mariage, even before death.
Stephenie is quoted discribing her characters like such "Vampires are physically similar enough to their human origins to pass as humans under some circumstances (like cloudy days). There are many basic differences. They appear to have skin like ours, albeit very fair skin. The skin serves the same general purpose of protecting the body. However, the cells that make up their skin are not pliant like our cells, they are hard and reflective like crystal. A fluid similar to the venom in their mouths works as a lubricant between the cells, which makes movement possible (note: this fluid is very flammable). A fluid similar to the same venom lubricates their eyes so that their eyes can move easily in their sockets. (However, they don't produce tears because tears exist to protect the eye from damage, and nothing is going to be able to scratch a vampire's eye.) The lubricant-venom in the eyes and skin is not able to infect a human the way saliva-venom can. Similarly, throughout the vampire's body are many versions of venom-based fluids that retain a marked resemblance to the fluid that was replaced, and function in much the same way and toward the same purpose. Though there is no venom replacement that works precisely like blood, many of the functions of blood are carried on in some form. Also, the nervous system runs in a slightly different but heightened way. Some involuntary reactions, like breathing, continue (in that specific example because vampires use the scents in the air much more than we do, rather than out of a need for oxygen). Other involuntary reactions, like blinking, don't exist because there is no purpose for them. The normal reactions of arousal are still present in vampires, made possible by venom-related fluids that cause tissues to react similarly as they do to an influx of blood. Like with vampire skin—which looks similar to human skin and has the same basic function—fluids closely related to seminal fluids still exist in male vampires, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum. This was not a known fact in the vampire world (outside of Joham's personal experimenting) before Nessie, because it's nearly impossible for a vampire to be that near a human and not kill her."
Their physical anatomy is changed, NOT THEIR MENTAL, so they can still have human thoughts, so why not human emotions.
And your right Edward DOES CRAVE FOR BELLAS BLOOD, he discribes her as "his brand of heroin"
Your second contention was: They don't want into some teenagers pants.
AND YOUR RIGHT!!! that is why edward born in 1901 thats over 107 years ago waited till his and bella's wedding night to lose HIS VIRGINITY!!!!
your third contention was: that jacob is a werewolf
WRONG!!! he could have been a hawlk or bear or cow. He comes from a great line of spirt walkers, but one day the cheif was killed while out of his body, and created a symbiotic relationship with a wolf and from then on his ansestors have been able to turn in to wolves they are not werewolfs they are shape shifers
your fourth contention was: the scourned Werewolf stands there with his thumb up his bumb.
WRONG AGAIN! of course jacob was jealous, but he imprinted (a shape shifters way of falling inlove, how they find their soul mate and or the best partner to carry on the wolf gene with) with the "vampire baby" who is truely have vampire, meaning she can feed on blood and food, she grows, she has a heart beat, and she has an eye colour not determained by her diet.
And cousin i have emersed my self in vampire ficion for the past 4 years now, maybe not as long as you. but i have experienced it all, from the cheesy to the cheesier. I have seen underwould I and II and god forgive me, thirty days of night. I curently have 15 vampire related books in my personal library, and it shall be growing, and i have read many more... I have seen almost all sides, angles, versions and intripratations of "the vampire" a ficional myth that was first recorded around the early 18th century. No vampire is ever the same, altho most revolve around, imortality, bloodlust and strengh. They rarely share many more characteristics. Stephenie Meyer exocuted her artistic right to express her vision of "the vampire" and i think props is due for the women, who gave us the most multie fasited, complex, well thought out and writen Cullen family.
Love you loads
Kelsy
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