Saturday, September 19, 2009

An unorganized update about change.

Usually I've got a focus, a vision, and I try to avoid the 'today I had a shower and I tried this awesome new shampoo' rout of blogging so many enjoy to entertain but consider today's entry a 'update' because I'm not angry at the moment and I don't have anything particular to say. There's just a lot to talk about. Why haven't I really bothered to speak my mind lately? Let's just say I was getting to know the BC Bud... ANYWAY

First off: I moved from Nelson and I don't think I could be any happier about it. Moving there seemed like a stoners dream, a hippy culture, a town trapped in a time warp. What more could a young hipster like myself ask for right? WRONG. The lazy 'entitled' citizens of that town slowly began to alienate me. Feeling like you're one of the few people you know that just puts in an honest days work can be a tad frustrating day in and day out and by the time I got out of there I was glad to be out.

Now I live in Nova Scotia, I find myself on the other side of the country in a region dominated by maple trees and Tim Horton's. When I left B.C. I left it in the wake of Gordon Campbell somehow getting another term as the provincial Premier, on the cusp of ushering in an Harmonized Sales Tax, a tax that Nova Scotia enjoys. Good or bad? I don't know. I just know I hate Gordon Campbell and I'm very relieved I don't have to waste time and energy projecting my hate toward him in a very 'force-like' dictate hoping that maybe, just maybe, I could maybe strangle him with my mind or something. You know, Darth Vader style.

As the fog of THC clears my mind I begin to see things more clearly, think with just a little more fire and passion and feel certain joys coming back to me. The flip side of things is I cannot sedate my frustrations with a toke anymore, at least for now. I see it as a good thing, I'm reading a lot more, writing a lot more. I feel clearer, and honestly I couldn't thank it more because I've needed it for a long time and I knew that as long as I lived in Nelson I would not get it. I can't watch the news because guaranteed I will see something that, if I were in the right frame of mind, would inspire a very aggravated rant on this here website for all of you to read. So hopefully I'll start to utilize my little frustration outlet a little more often as well.

Things are different here in Nova Scotia, people smile and ask you how you are as you pass them on the street as opposed to glaring at you scathingly or asking for any spare change you might have. People are joyous, polite, courteous, they think! B.C's a depressing state, and it single handedly fueled every ounce of my fleeting 'Canadianism' as I've more and more found myself inclined to call this country I live in "America Jr." Things are not like that over here and for that I'm thankful. I see the maple trees that line my yard. The giant war monuments just beside my house and that gleaming national symbol. That red and white flag waving mightily in the wind and in my soul I feel that perhaps this is more like Canada than anywhere else I've ever been, and Tim Horton's is actually good... something I never imagined to think possible.

Change is imminent for me and its for the better. I find myself in a not dissimilar position to when I first arrived in Nelson. Things were optimistic, everything seemed like it was within my grasp. I hadn't quite found a job closing in on three weeks of residency and that wears on my mind but I know that I will gain employment, even if I have to swallow a bit of pride and look for yet another kitchen related job that I don't want. Maybe like when I applied at Thor's Pizza, I will find a job that offered friends and people that I won't forget, and relationships that I hope to continue on for the rest of my life.

Ignatieff is on the cusp of triggering yet ANOTHER election. I was practically screaming for the Liberals to push anyone to the front other than Stephane "shrugged shoulders" Dion but I'm not convinced, this could be due to the Conservatives rather effective attack strategies. Harper's smarmy as fuck and I still don't like him, but to be honest I don't see any change on the horizon
as far as the political forefront is concerned. If it were up to me, I'd cram Ignatieff, Harper and Layton into the Magic 8 Ball that is Canadian Politic's, shake it up, and spit out three new candidates. If these morons haven't realized after two very close elections that Canada doesn't really want any of them. A third will not change that. Ignatieff is not the "Obama" of Canada. If you asked me. I would want someone who bled Red and White and Maple Syrup. Who stood up for Canada and what it was. Who would not just bend over to wipe the ass of the americans whenever their furrowed brow was pointed at our direction. In effect, someone who was not America's Bitch. But I'm not convinced that day will ever come, Political ENDRANT.

I sit here with the future a complete blank slate and I'm excited to start making something of it. School isn't outside of the conclusions I could jump to though it's not quite in the cards just yet. At the very least, I need to get my drivers license first and well it's a hell of a lot easier to get one of those in Nova Scotia than it is in British Columbia. I want to start writing more, something a bit more focused than random moments in my notebook, which, Brad and Michelle if you happen to read this, I'm almost finished. I've got so many ideas and a lot of passion to keep my hobby going, I just need to channel my focus to see whatever I chose to push toward the end. I've got story ideas I've left floundering and betrayed, others that I've been building in the hope that enough preparation may help my efforts once the actual 'writing' process begins. When it comes to me and writing, I can hardly make my mind up and my ADHD is just as evident with it as it is anything else in my life. But I've proven myself to myself in the past and its time to do that again.

Everything is open, and this is the first time in my life I've honestly felt like I could do anything I set my mind to. Hopefully this will open a more optimistic page in my life's grand book. But I've never banked too much in hope, or faith. I've only ever really put stock in myself and so far I've done pretty good. Until next time, I promise I'll be spitting bile and taking names next time when I don't quite feel inside my own mind.

PEACE!


2 comments:

Barclay said...

Wow Bryce, I didn't know you were such a good writer! Also, I feel very much the same about NS vs BC. I couldn't have said it better myself!

J.R. LeMar said...

A little change can be good for you. Glad that you're enjoying your new environment.