Seriously, fuck off with this bullshit!

*DISCLAIMER: I SWEAR IN THIS ENTRY, A-FUCKING-LOT. (Fair warning so you cant whine about it after reading it, I'm angry, get over it)*

I don't think I'm inside my own mind today... You feel this pain, I'm sure. You just dished out a good 200-300 bucks on a shiny new iPod nano that has all the features your friends 'pods have and you now, feel technologically adequate right? Then you watch the commercial and see the NEW nano with its goddamn camera, and you look at yours and your world shrinks just a little bit? Maybe not, mine certainly doesn't but something comes to mind. Why the hell does technology have to keep moving forward like this, can't it just sit and breathe? Your iPod, or computer or Xbox or Playstation is all of a sudden inadequate. This rant isn't about iPods, but I felt it was a good place to start. This rant is about technology raping your wallet, and then all of a sudden what you just shelled out 600 dollars for is half that price. I'M LOOKING AT YOU PS3!

Down the grapevine I've heard that, if Gears of War 3 happens. It won't happen until Next Gen. NEXT GEN. Jesus christ we're just tapping into this gen. It's finally gotten to the point that the people who want this shit, the people who bust their asses 40 hours a week putting up with ridiculous bullshit for bullshit pay just to BUY the goddamn machine for the hundreds of dollars that it costs can actually afford to buy it and already we're talking about NEXT gen. Sony is already developing the PS4 and I'm sure Xbox is already in the works for their next doorstop, inadequately produced, 67% failure rate right out of the gate piece of crap.

I was lucky, I managed to score a 360 off of my friend, used, for a great price. With games, and an extra controller. (Luckily, just before he learned of the joys of Guitar Hero... so I lucked out pretty good) First run so it's currently one of the 34% that hasn't failed right out of the gate, and I consider my self VERY fortunate for this fact. I was already a couple years behind the 360 bandwagon and chances are there will only be a handful of years left in its cycle to begin with. This ENRAGES me. Why the hell do things have to move on so quickly. We're in the middle of a fucking recession and these companies think we can just pull hundreds of dollars out of our asses to entertain ourselves. The companies that make the games are either catching up to the current technology or planning ahead for what's to come? What the hell is that? When the gaming companies can't even take the time to make a proper game for the systems that are currently out because they just want to pump that bitch out and cash in on it. But that is a separate rant for a different day.

I think it's ridiculous that this kind of technology doesn't even have a lifespan of at least a decade, for the kind of money people spend on it (thousands of dollars by the end of it if you add up all the games and controllers and other this and that's that comes with buying a machine that is capable of what these machines are) you would expect that your investment would be worth it, and last. Not to just fail with a fucking red-ring-of-death after a couple of weeks with a warranty that only lasts a year (or three, after outcry forced Microsoft to extend their goddamn warranty) I'm sorry but if I'm paying more than 400 bucks for a fucking box. That shit should be guaranteed for LIFE. Not a year or two, that's BULLSHIT.

Look at the Xbox/PS2. PS2 was introduced in 2000, but by 2007, it was obsolete as the PS3 was being introduced. Unlike Microsoft however, sony still puts games out for the PS2, so I guess you don't have to consider it obsolete but it's certainly more than pointless to buy one. Its pedigree speaks for itself though as it is the highest selling console of all time, having sold over 145 million units. The Xbox, in comparison, was released in 2001 and the 360 was ushered in rather infamously in 2005. That's a 4 year life span for the Xbox and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think they continue to make games for original Xbox. It's safe to consider it obsolete. This is typical Microsoft as PC's seem to become obsolete mere months after one another (not Microsoft's fault but I'm playing the blame game here). However, the quality of the 360 was not really assured until their "360 elite" was released with the championing game of the system, Halo 3.

So lets look at it like this, the elite was released in 2007, so a reliable 360 has only existed for a couple of years. I only shudder to think how many people who already payed 400-500 bucks for an xbox pumped out MORE money to buy a 360 elite. These people easily payed more than a thousand dollars just for the bloody BOX. And I wonder just how many of these there were out there. And it's safe to say that they will not even have a good 5 years to enjoy their 360. Their 600+ dollar base investment, pretty much down the drain as soon as Microsoft decides to unveil their newest cash cow, most likely to co-inside with the PS4 whenever it is released. The next gen (I hate that we're already considering that) wait let me take a step back. What will we even call the 'next' gen. THIS gen is "Next Gen". So what will the actual next gen be? Its inevitable, and it will no doubt, be expensive as fuck.

In sum, It just really pisses me off that not just myself but gamers everywhere are basically having their wallets continuously raped. Look at Games Workshop and their "Warhammer" games. I, personally, cannot attest to this but they're vagrant offenders of this as well. I've seen many of my friends continually throw hundreds upon hundreds of dollars at this game just to keep up. Where is the pay-off. When do you draw a line? I suppose, if they keep buying it you have the right to charge whatever you want. But at some point, there has to be a consensus of "okay, fuck you, we're not paying this, for this bullshit."

How long is the next gen going to last? A few years, before buzz of the "Playstation 5's" are coming about and companies are boasting that their highly successful game's sequel won't be available until THAT system comes out. Why don't we reach the potential of what's already out there. Make the most out of what's present in front of us before we worry about the NEXT GENERATION. Let's run this course for all its worth and when there's nothing left, and gaming as an industry begins to stagnate. (Oh wait, too late, games are already stagnating... again, another rant for another day) THEN lets move forward to the next generation and higher possibilities. Technology can continue to grow, but how is this consumerism we all know and love supposed to thrive when the consumers can't even keep up.

Anyway, a little food for thought. Maybe I'll have something more important and focused to say next time but until then...

PEACE

An unorganized update about change.

Usually I've got a focus, a vision, and I try to avoid the 'today I had a shower and I tried this awesome new shampoo' rout of blogging so many enjoy to entertain but consider today's entry a 'update' because I'm not angry at the moment and I don't have anything particular to say. There's just a lot to talk about. Why haven't I really bothered to speak my mind lately? Let's just say I was getting to know the BC Bud... ANYWAY

First off: I moved from Nelson and I don't think I could be any happier about it. Moving there seemed like a stoners dream, a hippy culture, a town trapped in a time warp. What more could a young hipster like myself ask for right? WRONG. The lazy 'entitled' citizens of that town slowly began to alienate me. Feeling like you're one of the few people you know that just puts in an honest days work can be a tad frustrating day in and day out and by the time I got out of there I was glad to be out.

Now I live in Nova Scotia, I find myself on the other side of the country in a region dominated by maple trees and Tim Horton's. When I left B.C. I left it in the wake of Gordon Campbell somehow getting another term as the provincial Premier, on the cusp of ushering in an Harmonized Sales Tax, a tax that Nova Scotia enjoys. Good or bad? I don't know. I just know I hate Gordon Campbell and I'm very relieved I don't have to waste time and energy projecting my hate toward him in a very 'force-like' dictate hoping that maybe, just maybe, I could maybe strangle him with my mind or something. You know, Darth Vader style.

As the fog of THC clears my mind I begin to see things more clearly, think with just a little more fire and passion and feel certain joys coming back to me. The flip side of things is I cannot sedate my frustrations with a toke anymore, at least for now. I see it as a good thing, I'm reading a lot more, writing a lot more. I feel clearer, and honestly I couldn't thank it more because I've needed it for a long time and I knew that as long as I lived in Nelson I would not get it. I can't watch the news because guaranteed I will see something that, if I were in the right frame of mind, would inspire a very aggravated rant on this here website for all of you to read. So hopefully I'll start to utilize my little frustration outlet a little more often as well.

Things are different here in Nova Scotia, people smile and ask you how you are as you pass them on the street as opposed to glaring at you scathingly or asking for any spare change you might have. People are joyous, polite, courteous, they think! B.C's a depressing state, and it single handedly fueled every ounce of my fleeting 'Canadianism' as I've more and more found myself inclined to call this country I live in "America Jr." Things are not like that over here and for that I'm thankful. I see the maple trees that line my yard. The giant war monuments just beside my house and that gleaming national symbol. That red and white flag waving mightily in the wind and in my soul I feel that perhaps this is more like Canada than anywhere else I've ever been, and Tim Horton's is actually good... something I never imagined to think possible.

Change is imminent for me and its for the better. I find myself in a not dissimilar position to when I first arrived in Nelson. Things were optimistic, everything seemed like it was within my grasp. I hadn't quite found a job closing in on three weeks of residency and that wears on my mind but I know that I will gain employment, even if I have to swallow a bit of pride and look for yet another kitchen related job that I don't want. Maybe like when I applied at Thor's Pizza, I will find a job that offered friends and people that I won't forget, and relationships that I hope to continue on for the rest of my life.

Ignatieff is on the cusp of triggering yet ANOTHER election. I was practically screaming for the Liberals to push anyone to the front other than Stephane "shrugged shoulders" Dion but I'm not convinced, this could be due to the Conservatives rather effective attack strategies. Harper's smarmy as fuck and I still don't like him, but to be honest I don't see any change on the horizon

as far as the political forefront is concerned. If it were up to me, I'd cram Ignatieff, Harper and Layton into the Magic 8 Ball that is Canadian Politic's, shake it up, and spit out three new candidates. If these morons haven't realized after two very close elections that Canada doesn't really want any of them. A third will not change that. Ignatieff is not the "Obama" of Canada. If you asked me. I would want someone who bled Red and White and Maple Syrup. Who stood up for Canada and what it was. Who would not just bend over to wipe the ass of the americans whenever their furrowed brow was pointed at our direction. In effect, someone who was not America's Bitch. But I'm not convinced that day will ever come, Political ENDRANT.

I sit here with the future a complete blank slate and I'm excited to start making something of it. School isn't outside of the conclusions I could jump to though it's not quite in the cards just yet. At the very least, I need to get my drivers license first and well it's a hell of a lot easier to get one of those in Nova Scotia than it is in British Columbia. I want to start writing more, something a bit more focused than random moments in my notebook, which, Brad and Michelle if you happen to read this, I'm almost finished. I've got so many ideas and a lot of passion to keep my hobby going, I just need to channel my focus to see whatever I chose to push toward the end. I've got story ideas I've left floundering and betrayed, others that I've been building in the hope that enough preparation may help my efforts once the actual 'writing' process begins. When it comes to me and writing, I can hardly make my mind up and my ADHD is just as evident with it as it is anything else in my life. But I've proven myself to myself in the past and its time to do that again.

Everything is open, and this is the first time in my life I've honestly felt like I could do anything I set my mind to. Hopefully this will open a more optimistic page in my life's grand book. But I've never banked too much in hope, or faith. I've only ever really put stock in myself and so far I've done pretty good. Until next time, I promise I'll be spitting bile and taking names next time when I don't quite feel inside my own mind.

PEACE!

Rock And Roll Jihad

I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...

For those of you who live in a hole in the ground or are completely oblivious to current events. The terrorists like Al-Qaeda chose to use the terminology of a "jihad" as a crusifix to describe what their goals are. They're doing what they do for Allah. They're not exactly justified and certainly this is a bit off base with where I'm going with this. They, for one reason or another, feel wronged by the west. They chose to take their claim out on us. Newer groups like this “Indian Mujahideen” who were responsible for the recent attacks in Mumbai, India. Groups like these use "jihad" as a term of fear, a word that identifies their cause. Through force they will bring change.

I feel that terrorism has crept upon us in a different front from an enemy who who instead choses to wear fancy suits and dictate what our general populace will have force fed to them on the worlds radio stations. These suits run the music industry and they create terrorism on a daily basis. Through helping prolong and proliferate the fame of such individuals who undoubtebly SUCK.

Individuals or Bands like: Rihanna, Beyonce, Britney Spears, Nickelback, The Killers, Miley Cyrus, Kid Rock, Metallica, Katy Perry , Hinder, The Jonas Brothers, Linkin Park, T.I, or Ludacris or not to mention the scores of R&B and Rap clones that suck harder and harder with each one that emerges.

It is the pollution of such shit on our radios that has driven down the STANDARD of music. No longer are we blown away by the imagination of bands like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd or The Doors. No, now we have to accept that stuff like Pink, Akon, Three Days Grace, Dave Matthews Band, Seether, Buck Cherry or Creed. And people eat it up, I'm certain that there is an undesirable herd of brainless drones that not only listen to this shit, but they fucking love it!

Then there is the "emo" genre which deserved to be kicked into a Spartain death pit, never to be heard from again. I'm talking to you: Simple Plan, My Chemical Romance. The Used, Papa Roach, Dashboard Confessional, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and hoardes of shitty copycat bands that should all be burned at the stake!

There is a serious need of a musical revolution. People use the internet more than ever to discover new music. Why hasn't the music industry done ANYTHING to try and boost its sails. People don't want to pay for the shitty music you're peddling as gold and yet you show no sign of effort to turn your situation around. There is no musical talent in all of these bands you push on us. Where are the bands with the vocallists who make us wish we could sing? The drummers who smash the shit out of the shit? The guitarists who can play so good that you'd practically cry at the thought of it. Where's the quality, the emotion, where's the substance.

That song "Love Song" by Sarah Bareilles that's on the radio. Its a shitty song but I kind of like that she wrote it after the record companies told her that her album needed a love song. She wrote that up one morning and the next thing you know its a fucking radio staple.

I know I'm breaking some genre barriers here and I'm trying to keep focused on Rock. There aren't many guitarists out there like Alex Lifeson (Rush) or Dave Mustaine of Megadeth, or Tom Morello, guitarists who just kick ass. There's so few! So here's some bands that do, infact, kick ass like it was meant to be. Nobody that plays anymore reminds me of Hendrix or Jimmy Page. I'd have to say that Zakk Wylde of the Black Label Society, he's a bit more metal stylings but he's got a musical heart that can't be ignored. It plays out in his music and he's an awesome guitarist.

I ask you, please, no, I fucking beg you! STOP LISTENING TO THE SHIT! Boycot the radio, listen with your heart. Don't accept this bullshit that they keep pushing our way. The way I see it, unless something comes along. The music is going to continue to get blander and shittier, and the record companies may continue to lose money, they may not. Until next time, just think about the fucking lame ass Britney Spears song you might be listening to at the moment and I hope it fills your brain with bile!

Fuck you Fall Out Boy!

- Bryce.

Indiana Jones and The Train To Shitsville

I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...

I finally watched Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull and I don't know what to think. It's hit me like a ton of bricks. I've never been especially fond of Indiana Jones. I know people who think he's the greatest but I've always been a Batman/Star Wars kind of guy. I didn't watch Indiana Jones and The Raiders of The Lost Ark until my 18th birthday. I hadn't seen the other two movies until about a month ago.

The original trilogy is much like the original Star Wars trilogy in that its spirit and imagination are unprecedented. They're great films and I like all of them. I was kind of stoked to watch Indiana Jones 4 and then the word of mouth came my way. Negative response after another, I found any shred of hope I may have had for the film dwindling. Was there any hope this was going to be good.

It started out well, I had hope it would carry out some glimmer of promise. The prequel trilogy of Star Wars wasn't the best but it was watchable. This Indiana Jones was not the Indy I knew... This Indy was old, past his prime. He met a young greaser by the name of "Mutt Williams" played by Shia LeBouf of Transformers fame. Mutt wanted Indiana Jones to help him save his mother because nobody else would. Their trail lead Indiana Jones to learn that what he once assumed a myth of the tallest tale was something very real.

I can't disregard the imagination they tried to achieve for this movie. Its certainly no fault to Cate Blanchet who did her best but I liked her better as Crazy Bob Dylan. Was it the throwing the gunpowder into the air to find the highly magnetic box? Was it Shia, swinging through vines with chimpanzee. Or all the "mom" "dad" "family" jokes that even Superman Returns had the courtesy to avoid.

This movie was shameful. I hope they made their money because I certainly didn't pay to watch thsi crap. You can thank the internet for that, or maybe I can blame it. If you are one of those people that loves bad movies. You are in for a treat because Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull serves up some primo viewing trash. If any movie deserves a riff track it's this. I'm very happy that in the same night I watched Silence of The Lambs.

Now there's an awesome movie that EVERYONE should watch.

Next Time, I should have a new video game to talk about. What that will be, I'm unsure yet.

PEACE

Hollywood dips its hands into the super hero cookie jar with Hancock

I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...

Earlier I talked about the movie Wanted. But I also mentioned having watched Hancock and I wanted to talk about that too. You would pretty much have to be living in a hole in the ground to not notice the saturation of comic books into mainstream Hollywood. Superheroes are everywhere and there doesn't seem to be much sign of letting up. However, Hollywood hasn't borrowed all of its comic book hysteria. Movies like Sky High, Zoom and My Super Ex-Girlfriend have all played off of this super powered hysteria but all of them have missed the mark until now. Will Smith's Hancock. Again, spoiler warning I'm not going to try and give away too much of this movie.

Hancock is a derelict asshole, he selflessly helps people and is only brought back with anger and expressed frustration from his adoring public. In response he's chosen to drown his sorrows and live his life on the streets. It isn't until he meets public relations whiz Ray Embrey played brilliantly by Jason Bateman of Arrested Development fame. Ray pleads with Hancock to own u p to his dues to the public by serving a prison sentence. It's during this time that Ray tirelessly devotes his efforts into making Hancock a marketable hero.

I love this movie because it's completely original. We have a hero who clearly has inspirations from comic lore but its Will Smith that turns this into a monumental success. Playing a character unlike anything I've ever seen him portray. We see more of Will Smith's incredible acting range (See: Ali and Persuit of Happiness) as he plays Hancock down to his lowest. When we meet the character it's very clear that for Hancock he's hit rock bottom a long time ago.

In prison, he embraces the experience knowing nobody would dare try anything on him in there. He takes part in group therapy sessions and plays hoops outside. There's some hilarious shots of him making baskets from across the yard. He misses one and the ball goes bouncing high out of the penetentary gates. Hancock eyes the ball before leaping out after it. After he lands he looks out into the vastness surrounding the prison and back to the gates. He knows they can't hold him there but that's not what its about. After a moments hesitation he jump back into the prison gates to hold his sentence.

Charlize Theron play's Ray Embrey's wife. She is a great actress and even though she's kind of the weakest link character wise in this film. That's only because Will Smith and Jason Batemen are excellent in their characters. Hancock is a good movie. Check it out with your family and friends. The end of the movie is bogged down, and nearly kills the immense momentum the movie gains from the beginning but it doesn't harm the overall film. It's a fun adventure where we get to see Hancock clean his act up. Will Smith is hilarious and I think this is a movie that even super-heroic cinics could enjoy.

Check out Hancock. Just don't call him an asshole!

PEACE

Wanted: A Faithful Comic Book Adaptation

I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...

Yesterday I watched a couple of superhero movies. It was an interesting perspective to watch. On one hand we had Wanted. Staring James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie. On the other hand we had Hancock, starring Will Smith, Jason Bateman and Charlize Theron. Two movies that were, okay but missed the mark for different reasons. Before I get into it, yes, there will be spoilers so you'll probably want to stop reading here if you haven't seen Wanted specifically... i don't even know if I'll get to Hancock.

ITS RANT TIME!

Wanted is based off of one of my favorite comic books of the same name. Written by comic's scribe Mark Millar. Wanted is a tale of escapism, a tale of an ordinary joe like you and me being given an opportunity to become something greater than he truly imagined. The comic paints a dark tale of the depths of human depravity. We witness Wesley slowly transitioned from a spineless weasel to a fully testosteroned killing machine. Mark Millar's penchant for cinematic storytelling really helps the comic feel like you're watching a movie. The beautiful art by artist J.G. Jones is also one of the corner stones of the comic's strength.

The movie starts out much like the comic. Helmed by russian director and visual mastermind Timur Bekmambetov. director of russian vampire films that everyone needst to watch. Night Watch and Day Watch. Wanted starts out with Wesley Gibson sitting in his office, speaking about how he hates his life. The beginning of the movie is like watching the comic book come to life and if you're like me, you feel kind of giddy watching it.

As the story continues, Wesley is confronted by a lovely lady named "Fox" who tells him that somebody is trying to kill him. Fox introduces Wesley to Sloan, the leader of The Fraternity. A guild of assassins who bring down the hammer of fate. I won't go to far into it but let me just say that they listen to weaves of thread... its dumb. He's unconvinced of Sloan and his fraternity so he goes home to sleep it off. Waking to find the very gun in his pants that he'd used the night before to shoot the wings off of flies at gun point (a scene they lifted right from the comic book). It's at this point Wesley starts believing that there may be more truth to the Fraternity than he'd oribginally imagined.

Wesley takes stress pills due to completing the repetitive tasks of his job all day long. His manager, an overweight woman who has a penchant for the mean, looms over Wesley and begins to berate him for his work ethic in the beginning of what is probably the most enjoying scene in the movie to watch. Wesley proceeds to tell his boss to shut the fuck up, and then further on goes to tell her how her entire staff hates her, and if she wasn't such a fat bitch they would simply pity her for being so useless. After putting his boss in her place, Wesley grabs his keyboard and strikes it across the face of one of his co-workers who was fucking his girlfriend.

ANYWAY. Wesley eventually comes around and decides to learn the ways of the fraternity. Being punched in the face, being taught how to shoot human targets, taught how to sword fight. He is given a crash course in Assassination 101. They're training him to kill the man who killed his father. Sloan, the best assassin in the fraternity who'se gone rogue. Finally, Wesley feels that he's ready to take Sloan out and he goes to confront him. One intense action scene on a moving train later. Wesley gets the kill, only to find out that he did not kill the man who killed his father but he'd killed his father himself. The fraternity pulled a quick one on ol' Wesley. Wesley learns the truth and decides he needs to get vengeance for his father.

The story diverges from the comic pretty much as soon as Angelina Jolie enters the fray and from there you're lead on an action roller coaster unlike we've experienced in this new age of CGI. Its intense and relentless. It's pretty awesome to watch but holds little to no resonance if you happen to be a fan of the comic. If you're a fan of action flicks, it's a home run. I can't help but imagine how amazing the movie could've been if they followed the comic.

The comic is much different, although it begins similarly as I mentioned above. Wesley is a common joe like you or me. He hates his life, his job, he hates his girlfriend that cheats on him with his best friend and co-worker. The whole idea is that super-villains, not assassains, decided to band together and use their vast powers to eliminate the world's superheroes and rewrite reality in a darker image. Leaving superheroes to be remembered as vague fiction, like they are in the real world. leaving a cabal of villains to run the world from behind the scenes.

Wesley learns that his recently assassinated father was a super-villain named "The Killer" and that Wesley inherited his perfect aim and uncanny skill with any weapon from his father. He enters this new life and must deal now with the most dangerous and lethal people in the world. When Wesley meets Fox, he quits his job and joins the fraternity. He goes through a period of training where he's desensitised to violence. Tied up to a chair just like in the film but told that "he had to get rid of that faggoty fear of being punched in the face sometime" a classic line they neglected to use in the movie during the same scene. He's also given license to fufill every desire he's had. Which includes rape, radically motivated violence and random murder. He goes on to sever his connections to his past life by breaking up with his girlfriend and killing the best friend that she was cheating on him with. He becomes the bodyguard of a super scientist named "Professor Seltzer" who is one of the five, the leading council of the fraternity.

At a council meeting, the main antagonist of the comic book "Mister Rictus" a man who appears to have no skin and bears a skeletal appearance, calls a vote that the Fraternity come forward as the ruling body of the earth. When Wesley encounters Rictus at this meeting my favorite dialog of the comic occurs where Wesley tells Rictus to "Eat shit, sheep fucker." Where Rictus retorts. "I dont fuck sheep, I make love to them."

The vote is defeated narrowly due to hypnotic manipulation by another of The five, "The Emperor". Rictus is tired of hiding in the shadows and also feels he drew the short stick by ontrolling only Australia. He has the professor executed by a lackey of his named Shithead, a creature made of the shit of the evilist people in history. "Death by dysentery!" he screams before drowning the professor in the back of his own limozine... He also has Wesley and Fox marked for death. Wesley strikes back by infiltrating the Fraternities north american headquarters. Killing many villains and Mister Rictus.

After he killed him, Wesley learns that his father is alive and well. The original Killer goes on to explain that he faked his death and got wesley to join the Fraternity to make Wesley into a man. After a little heart-to-heart he tells Wesley that the final step of his training is that he must kill his Father. Telling Wesley that he 'can't handle the idea of not being the best'. Wesley obliges after resisting and tells Fox that he's returning to his former life of msery. After expressing disbelief the Fox realizes he's joking. The ending of the comic is somewhat like the movie. The movie has Wesley breaking the fourth wall in a monologue, saying that he's taking control of his life, what the fuck are we doing? In the comic the ending is a little less tactful, with the final page having Wesley scream "This is my face while I'm fucking you in the ass."

The movie doesn't hold a candle to the comic book, which sucks. Comic book fans will not get anything out of this movie. But hopefully movie goers who haven't been exposed to the comic will watch the movie and be blown away. And maybe even go out and find the comic book in the local book store and read it. The only good thing about the saturation of hollywood into the comic book industry is that maybe, just maybe, more people will start reading the comic books that only a small chunk of society holds so dear.

The comic is an uncompromising thrill ride. An exciting tale of escapism and action. In this sense, the movie and the book are the same. But it's really the only similarities they share.

Sorry about the spoilers but until next time....

PEACE!

Apparently we've forgotten what Vampires are all about.

I don't think I'm inside my own mind today...

I've been busy with things, and that's why I haven't blogged too much lately. I've got something to say today however. In addition to noting that, I'm really only promising to myself that I'm going to give this a bit more attention. I successfully moved with my girlfriend and we've got all those lovely new stresses to deal with. I've found a job and I'm working so that's good.

But there's still a lot of time for procrastination. That's where movies and video games come into play. It's come to my attention that Vampires are all of a sudden cool again. They're on TV, they're in my movies, they're in my media. What was just something that Goths and LARP'ers were into is now a commonly accepted avenue for storytelling I guess.

The catalyst of my rage is the book "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer. This book has spawned huge commercial success, and three following novels. "New Moon", "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn" These romantically themed novels shining a brighter light on an otherwise dark and brooding creature has gotten hollywood's attention as well. Spawing the first of what is sure to be milked out as a film franchise.

The story Twilight is about a young girl who finds herself smitten by somebody she concludes is a Vampire! The vampire and the girl fall in love...

They fall in love?

I'm sorry. I've watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer. This shit just doesn't go down. Vampirs are SOULLESS! They are incapable of love! They're incapable of feeling and are creatures driven by pure desire. These desires are not physical. A vampire persues things that it takes an eternity to get. Vampires want power, they want prestige. They don't want into some teenagers pants.

Yes... Buffy fell for Angel, (Aaaand Spike) But they both had SOULS. They are anomalies in vampiric lore.

These books, which craft a lovely tale (I got a synopsis from Wikipedia, no way in HELL I'm actually going to read it. If I need some Vampiric love, I'll just force feed myself Underworld 2) where the main character falls in love with a Vampire. Vampire fears for his girlfriends safety, flees. In the second book, the main character meets a boy who is later revealed to be... A WEREWOLF (SHOCKING!) So this love triangle goes on into the fourth book. The newly converted Vampire makes a little baby Vampire while the scourned Werewolf stands there with his thumb up his bumb.

Seriously? This sounds like a fan fiction and by no means is that a compliment.

Now it's being made into a movie, invading my culture. This is ridiculous. Vampires don't love. I don't get how this shit can be taken seriously but I guess if this gets teenaged girls to stop watching horrible reality television and reading then that's a good thing, right?

I feel pretty strongly about Vampires. Their do's and don'ts. The Love card is a serious don't. Thirst for blood, thirst for vengeance. No thirsting for poonani. Vampires have bigger things to worry about. Im sure some would argue that vampries are sexual creatures because, we humans are sexual creatures. Humans worry enough about all the sex that they aren't having. I'm sure Vampires have much more important things to worry about in their immortality.

I don't know anyone who's read this book so I'm pretty much just shooting from the hip. A friend of mine told me the book was "good" but the movie "wasn't worth watching on an airplane"... Does anyone feel ripped off by these books? I feel ripped off and I haven't even gazed upon the first page! Maybe I'm missing out on something. If I cave and read this book, you'll be sure to hear about it. Until then though, EDUCATE yourselves. Go out and rent Bram Stokers: Dracula or hell go out and rent Underworld (the first one, not... for the love of god not the second one!)

Until I've become more informed about that new TV show "True Blood" which is sure to stir up more of my vampiric rage, next time should be a bit more organized and maybe less angry. Maybe something about sports or hating my job? Maybe a video game or movie rant... Who knows what will tickle my anger bone.

- PEACE